Ever since we were born, the concept of needing a significant other or needing to be engaged in constant socialization has been engrained into our minds by way of all categories of movies, books, and societal norms. The concept of spending all our love on others and finding a soulmate is a common life goal, while loving yourself for who you are in all of your glory is often a foreign concept.
Someone who chooses to spend their nights curled up in their favorite comfy chair surrounded by books and cats instead of being curled up in the arms of another is seen as "lonely" and "lost", when in fact they are filled to capacity with happiness and contentedness with life's simplicities. With that being said, here are the best parts about not searching for "the one", from one lonely person to another.
Learning to love myself has become so much easier.
I have been in a few relationships and am currently in one. However, before I allowed myself to get close to another person romantically, as I am now, I had to find within myself a love that could not be provided by someone else. Throughout my first relationships, I let their attention to me be my source of happiness and confidence, but everything always fell short because something just wasn't there, and that was my love for myself.
For some it doesn't take long, and for others it can take months or years to learn to love their body, quirks, and every other aspect of their being that makes them who they are. For some, having a significant other to be a statue of support and strength while this process is ongoing is necessary or comforting. For others, like me, being alone in this process makes everything smoother and less confusing. Being to myself while learning to love myself helped me distinguish what love was coming from me and what love was coming from other's approval. Learning to love myself for every single aspect of who I am is an everlasting process, but it's a fun and eye-opening experience that I would never have started if I hadn't first chosen to go about it on my own.
Living the lonely life is an inexpensive one.
Nothing screams lonely like nights spent in with a bowl of nachos, binge watching Greys Anatomy, but it's paradise to me. I'm a fairly extroverted person, but fraternity parties do not interest me and my bank account does not agree with multiple random excursions. So, dinner for one in front of my laptop with Netflix is an ideal weeknight for me.
I get to focus on me.
Even people who thrive on constant attention and socialization need time for themselves. Being alone allows me to focus on the betterment of my own life, without other's opinions and expectations blocking my sights for my future. At this point in my life, my top two priorities are my mental health and my future, both of which I would like to be sane for. Being alone does not mean not being able to seek help or advice, but it does mean that my decisions are my own, and every person in my life should know that I am going to do everything to ensure that my life is one that I build for myself, healthily.
Positive self-image? Check!
I have many levels of dressing up, and none of them involve being for a significant other. I dress up for me and myself, so when I walk past the mirror I can be proud of who I am. I can dress up cute in dresses or skirts, fun in flowers, or ready to take on the world in all black. Whatever my mood is that day dictates what I am going to wear, not someone else's view of me.
Friendships are that much more precious.
Like I said before, I am an extroverted person who likes her alone time. But as someone who likes her alone time a little bit more often than most people, it's hard to find people to relate to. I'm the type who can find something to like in every person, but those who I choose as my real friends are scarce and precious. I love having a very small circle rather than a grand following of friends. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely, and they should never go hand in hand. Find your forever friends that respect you and all of your decisions, and your happiness will soar.
For every "lonely" and "lost" person out there, it's okay to not look for your so called soulmate early in life, or ever. What is the point in living life if you don't love the person you've become, or the life that you've made? We're not lonely. We're not lost. We're not waiting for someone to sweep us off our feet. We are strong. We are making our life into what we want it to be, regardless of what anyone on this earth thinks. We are too busy loving ourselves and our friends to pay attention to society's expectations.
So, from one lonely person to another, keep going! Your life is what you make it, so fill it with everything you love.
