From A Hopeless Romantic Millennial...

From A Hopeless Romantic Millennial...

Longing to be appreciated beyond your iPhone screen? I sympathize.

Being a hopeless romantic in this generation is really a special kind of Hell. Are you a woman that longs for more than a #WCW post in a generation that values likes and shares over everything? (Don't get me wrong, an occasional #WCW post is nice, too)

A woman longing to live in the moment, not a 'my-story'? (Yes, we love to be shown off.. But we love even more so to be appreciated beyond the ever changing world of Social Media..)

A woman longing to be cared for as deeply as she cares for her significant other?

Don't worry, I sympathize.

How do you deal with it when you have so much love to give, but no man seems to appreciate it? You're constantly giving every bit of yourself and then some, all for it to be thrown back in your face?

You have to get to the point where you value yourself. That's how you deal with it. You have to get to the point where you know what you bring to your relationship, and you don't look for someone who loves that about you, you finally love it about yourself.

You love that you care so deeply about your significant other their heartbreak becomes yours. You do your best every single day to protect their heart from being broken, but sometimes no matter how hard you try, it breaks into a million pieces. Yet, no matter how bad you may be at puzzles, you will put those pieces back together time and time again.

You love that you would do anything and everything to make your significant other happy. Their laugh is your favorite song and their smile your favorite movie.

You love that you are so passionate about love and life and all it has to offer; and you long for the day you can share that passion with someone who appreciates it the way you do.

You can't be shy about it anymore.

You can't question if it's something wrong with you. It's nothing wrong with you, if the potential suitors in your life don't appreciate these things about you, they're not the right one. I know thats a cliche we get tired of hearing, but it's true.

There is a man out there with a passion for love and life ready to love you as Jesus loved the church.

There is a man who will see not only all the positives that you bring to a relationship, but qualities you didn't even know you had; because he'll bring out the best in you, not the worst.

He will never leave you questioning his feelings or his intentions. He will never leave you feeling guilty for, well, having feelings. He will never make you compare yourself to another woman. He will build you up, not tear you down.

There is a man out there longing to give himself to a woman who will appreciate him as much as he appreciates her, and God will cross your paths when it's your time.

In the meantime, I know with every heart break it becomes harder to remain positive, but don't lose faith.

And please, don't ever let a man ruin your self image.

You are beautiful and you are worthy of a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.

Until you and your future husband cross paths, remember love doesn't only lie in a significant other, but in different forms all around us.

In our family, our friends, our pets, even polite strangers on the street.

God shows us his love every day.

And more often than not, we lose sight of that love; because we're so focused on what we believe we're missing. When in reality, it's been right in front of us all along.

We are spoiled by God's infinite love, we're just waiting for the right person to share it with.

Cover Image Credit: My Bligr

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An Open Letter to the Guy I'm Finally Getting Over

I think I'm ready to listen to the happy Taylor Swift songs again.

I remember when all of this started. I couldn't have predicted you if I'd tried. I was so focused on myself that it took me a while to even admit I was interested in you. You were the one I didn't see coming, and then before long, you were the one I couldn't imagine leaving.

I'll be honest. I lied to myself and to everyone else for a long time. “We aren't anything serious," I'd say. “I'm just having fun." How stupid was I to think that I could resist getting caught up in you? Those months that we spent together were some of the best of my life. I didn't think it was possible for a someone to make me laugh like you did, to make me feel the way you did. You brought out a side of me I had never seen before, and even though that scared me, I didn't want it stop.

You had me so fooled.

One day, just like that, you were gone, and before I knew it I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. I couldn't imagine how someone I had given so much to could just leave like that and not even look back. The months after that was a string of waking up and losing you all over again, telling my friends I was fine one second and crying to them the next. And the second I started thinking I was okay, I saw you again. We talked, I cried, I yelled, you cried, you yelled, and for a couple weeks I pretended that everything would be okay, and you really meant it this time and we would make it. But just like before, it wasn't real.

Realizing that took me longer than I'd like to admit, but this is what I need you to know: I'm moving on. Finally, after months of dialing your number just to talk myself out of it, I can say that I'm moving on. I won't listen to sad songs anymore. I won't look at our pictures and re-live the days we spent together. I'm erasing every trace of you. I'm smiling brighter, I'm laughing louder, and if it's the last thing I do, I swear I'll find something that's better than what we had.

That's not to say that your memory won't knock the breath out of me on a Tuesday afternoon when our song comes through my headphones. That's not to say that I won't remember the promises you made me and want to scream at myself for ever believing you. But the difference is that I'll recognize the pain in those memories, and then I'll set them down and walk away. Because I'm done carrying them with me and I'm done giving you that power over me.

So don't call me up someday when I've finally forgotten your laugh; don't think about me at all if you can help it. You lost that right when you made the choices you did. This isn't some stupid love story we'll tell later down the road about how we beat the odds and came through stronger on the other side. This is done, do you understand? I'm finally done.

Years from now I'll look back on the adventures we had and laugh at how crazy we were. I'll remember the fierce happiness I felt while we were running wild together and I'll be grateful for this because it has molded me in ways I can't begin to explain. Someday I'll tell my daughter about you and pray that she learns from my mistakes, and when that day comes I'll wonder where you are and genuinely wish you the kind of happiness that I will have found.

I know you'll never read this. But I'll read this, on those nights when it feels like everything is starting to fall apart. Again and again and again, I'll read this and remind myself of the promise I'm making at this very moment, to look forward and stop letting your memory dictate my happiness. Someone wise once said, “Suddenly you'll just know, that it's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings." Well I'm trusting that this was just one short chapter of my book, and this is me turning the page.

Onto the next.

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An Open Letter To My First Love

We've all been there.

You were the first one to know me after I had my world shaken. You were my first love.

Before that, you were a guy I met online on this random chat site. I was looking for a friend because I felt so isolated from the people around me. I was alone and that terrified me.

I recall looking at your profile, a little hesitant to send you a message and I don’t know what compelled me to do it in the end. I met you, a standoffish and rude person. Initially, you were dry and sarcastic.

You said it was difficult for you to make friends and I saw why. Nonetheless, I was enthralled which kept me persistent.

A few months went by and our friendship was relatively solid. We spoke every day without fail. We would often talk on the phone for hours. We’d give up our other plans so we could spend more time together.

You were still the person I met, however, I noticed that you were like that towards others. I wasn’t the object of your spite, you treated me well. At the time, it was everything I was looking for.

I remember the day we began to date very clearly. I know it was sometime in the summer, I was at an outing with my family, and we had stopped for ice cream. Of course, I was texting you all day. I was sitting there, eating the strawberry covered vanilla ice cream, and you asked me to be your girlfriend.

I was absolutely ecstatic. If I think hard enough, I vaguely remember the feeling of it.

It was okay for awhile, it was hard since we lived so far apart. You lived in North Carolina and I lived miles away in New Jersey. We suffered a lot due to the distance. We had many arguments but we remained hopeful that one day we would meet and be together for real. I can say that for some time I was happy with you.

Until I wasn’t.

You became bitter and manipulating. You were jealous. You were putting me down because you were afraid of losing me. You treated me as carelessly as you treated everyone else.

Eventually, we broke it off. We stopped dating but it didn’t keep us from talking. I knew I would lose more than I was willing to if I stopped speaking you altogether.

A few months later we reconciled and we began to date once again. This on and off again process went on until I was fifteen. Each time you felt tired of being with me, you would curse at me, say that I was useless or that you never cared about me. You convinced me that there was something wrong with me. I believed you. was young and I thought that if someone who was so close to me thought that, then it must be true. I let you do it because I believed that was how I should show my love for you. To this day, I still believe some of the things you convinced me of.

It sounds ridiculous now but right before we never spoke again, you spoke with intention of moving here and marrying me. I thought that all the terrible things were worth it because we would spend our lives together. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to but it was easier to handle the manipulation than to start all over again.

Years later, I am unsure of why I let this behavior go on for so long. Desperation, maybe. Loneliness, likely.

I remember there was a day we spoke for the final time. I was angry and confused. I wasn’t able to reach you on anything. You blocked ME. Yes, you blocked me after I had held onto our relationship, no matter how sad you made me.

After everything that had happened, I never got any answers. I was never able to say goodbye. I think about you sometimes and I feel such sadness. Sometimes, I wish that I could talk to you. I want to know if you ever did decide to go to college, how your graduation went or if you found someone better. It’s infuriating that I can’t seem to fully let go. Then, I realize that I don’t necessarily miss you, I simply wanted answers.

I wish to keep you in the past because you are a person who belongs there. Nothing good would come from us speaking again. The malicious cycle would only continue and I’d be trapped. I know it’s highly unlikely that you will ever read this, but if you do, I forgive you for all that you did. I forgive you for leaving me without the answers to properly move on. I can thank you because you did teach me what to NOT look for in a person.

Luckily, I found someone who was the answer to all the questions I was left with.

Cover Image Credit: Andrea Iragorri

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