I cannot tell you how many times people have called me out for apologizing, saying things like, "you say sorry too much," or "why are you always sorry?" They act like saying it is a conscious choice I make and that I am capable of making it stop. What they don't realize, however, is that it is ingrained in me.

I apologize when others bump into me. I apologize when others forget to hold the door open for me. I apologize for taking up space in a room if I feel it could've been used for other purposes. I even apologize when I take too long to get back to someone, even though they just took twice as long to answer me. What people don't understand is that I am genuinely sorry for these things, but in moments of clarity I realize there really is no need to be.

This doesn't stop me, however, from always feeling sorry. Maybe it is because of my anxious personality. Or perhaps it is because I am making up for the countless apologies I probably deserved but never received.

Not surprisingly, I am a firm believer in the power of apologizing. No, I don't think apologizing fixes everything. But I do believe that we should never hesitate to apologize, especially when our actions hurt those around us. If you're not sorry for your actions don't say you are. Instead, apologize for the fact that your actions hurt someone. Never apologize for being honest but always apologize for hurting someone with your honesty.

Saying sorry should never be something people make you feel bad for, as long as it is coming from a place of sincerity. Often times people will tell me that because I apologize so much it begins to lose meaning. While I can understand why they may feel this way, I now know that by no means does that make my apologies any less meaningful.

Being as anxious as I am, many things hurt me that would not hurt other people. I am constantly on edge and constantly affected by things that to others would be meaningless. More often than not, people do not even realize how their words and actions have impacted me. They'll never know though because I choose not to say anything. Instead I apologize. I apologize for the things that would hurt me if they had been done to me, knowing fully well I am oversensitive and that these people were probably not even phased by this action.

Perhaps the worst part of this apologetic world I live in is the fact that I cannot help but apologize when others have hurt me. I suppose I apologize for whatever I did to deserve the way they are treating me. Or maybe it is because I almost feel sorry for myself because of their treatment. Regardless, many times I find myself apologizing for something that I later realize I had no place doing so. Realizing that I don't have to be sorry in moments of clarity does not stop me, however, from still apologizing in the moment.

I wish people could understand that constantly feeling sorry does not make apologies less sincere and that my abundance of apologies does not constitute a lack-there-of on your part. Living in a world where I am constantly afraid of hurting others, I am very grateful when others apologize for hurting me. People underestimate the power of a genuine apology and changed behavior.