From An Outsider Looking In

From An Outsider Looking In

This one is for you.
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Hello,

This one is for you; For the girl who deserves everything the world can give her because she gives so much. This one is for the girl who knows her relationship is bad, but she doesn't know what to do or where to start. This one is for you.

As an outsider looking in, I observe your relationship with wise eyes. I look at how you treat him versus how he treats you. You would die for him, but he wouldn't do the same. You could give everything, and he wouldn't give anything. You sacrifice your own time, education, and energy to make him a better person, but in return, he just drags you down. I understand that you think you love him, but you really just love the idea of loving someone and hoping that you get that love in return, but you don't, and in a relationship like that, you never will.

As an outsider looking in, I see you sacrifice everything you do for him. You wake up early in the morning, and he's the first one on your mind because you're constantly worrying about him. You don't know if he woke up because of the drugs or alcohol he takes, and it worries the hell out of you. You go to class, but you can't concentrate because you don't know if he went to class or not. You get home from class and try doing your homework, but stop because you have to call him and you try helping him with his own work. You don't eat dinner because you have to persuade him to eat something for the first time in the day. You stay up until 3 in the morning finishing your homework and trying to convince him to go to class because otherwise, he's going to flunk out of college. You wake up the next morning to do it all again.

As an outsider looking in, I know you're sick of hearing it. You're sick of getting asked why you're still with him, getting told that he will never be anything in life and that you deserve, and could have, someone so much better. I totally understand that you are sick of hearing that. Who wouldn't get fed up with answering the same thing almost every day? But let me tell you something:

You need to realize how much you are worth.

As an outsider looking in, I know what you want in your future. You want a nice house, a career that is going to pay you well, and a happy little family. Do you really think someone who chooses drugs and alcohol over you is going to supply that for you? Do you think someone who doesn't want to better himself is going to be able to support a family emotionally and financially?

As an outsider looking in, I listen to you rant about him all of the time. I hear you constantly telling me, "I deserve better." And it is true. You really do deserve better. And you need to realize that yourself. You are worth so much more than the boy who constantly pulls you down. You are worth so much more than that boy who you have to scold and basically act like his mother because he can't get his life together and grow up. You deserve someone who is going to make the sacrifices you make for this boy. You deserve someone who is going to love you as much as you love them. You don't deserve this boy; You deserve a man.

As an outsider looking in, I know that this is going to be hard. I know thinking about a relationship, as toxic as yours, sucks because you don't want to deem your relationship as toxic, even though it is. But you have so many people you can cry to, people who can support you, and people who care to see you happy.

You deserve someone who will give you the world.

From,

An outsider looking in.

Cover Image Credit: pexels

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Why I Spend So Much Time With My Boyfriend

And I love it!
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Many people think that spending too much time with your significant other is a bad thing. I think that wanting to spend time with them is a blessing. Don't get me wrong, we do not spend every waking minute together. We make sure that we save time for our friends and family, but in the end, we cherish our time together.

He brings out the best in me. When I first met my boyfriend, I knew he was something special. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that it would be important someday. I found out that when I am with him, I am an all-around happier person. I look at things in different ways, and I now know a whole new world of people. He has helped me overcome obstacles that have been holding me back for quite some time.

We enjoy each others company. I can't even begin to tell you how many times we have just sat in silence simply knowing that you are in the company of someone who loves you is comforting. He makes things that would usually be boring a lot more fun. When we do homework together, he makes the work seem like it's not work, and things like a simple trip to Walmart ends up being a comedy show.

We are best friends. Many people say that they are best friends with their significant other. For us, it's true. I can tell him anything. There is no hiding things in our relationship; we come right out and say what we want to say.

He pushes me to succeed. Whether it is with weight loss or homework, he holds me accountable. When I start a new workout, he keeps me on track to be whom I want to be. We make sure that we put homework before going out and that helps us in the long run. Giving up that pizza can be easy when you are spending time with someone you love.

He makes life seem not so hard. College can be hard and make life difficult. It seems that I always have something new happening or another meeting to attend. When I get stressed or overwhelmed, he makes sure that I take the time to put into perspective what really matters and focus on that. And when that fails, we go get McDonald's.

He supports me. He has never once told me that one of my ideas was stupid or out of reach. Whenever something new comes up that I think would be exciting, he is the first one to rally behind me and let me know that it is a good idea (even if it's not).

I love him. Love is a strong word, but I can honestly say I have never felt like this before. Between everything that he does for me, I do just as much for him simply because I love seeing him happy. Spending so much time together isn't hard to do because we love each other. If somewhere down the road we decide to split ways, I will still love him and he will still love me. That will never go away.

Cover Image Credit: Hanna Hartman

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?

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I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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