This one is for you; For the girl who deserves everything the world can give her because she gives so much. This one is for the girl who knows her relationship is bad, but she doesn't know what to do or where to start. This one is for you.
As an outsider looking in, I observe your relationship with wise eyes. I look at how you treat him versus how he treats you. You would die for him, but he wouldn't do the same. You could give everything, and he wouldn't give anything. You sacrifice your own time, education, and energy to make him a better person, but in return, he just drags you down. I understand that you think you love him, but you really just love the idea of loving someone and hoping that you get that love in return, but you don't, and in a relationship like that, you never will.
As an outsider looking in, I see you sacrifice everything you do for him. You wake up early in the morning, and he's the first one on your mind because you're constantly worrying about him. You don't know if he woke up because of the drugs or alcohol he takes, and it worries the hell out of you. You go to class, but you can't concentrate because you don't know if he went to class or not. You get home from class and try doing your homework, but stop because you have to call him and you try helping him with his own work. You don't eat dinner because you have to persuade him to eat something for the first time in the day. You stay up until 3 in the morning finishing your homework and trying to convince him to go to class because otherwise, he's going to flunk out of college. You wake up the next morning to do it all again.
As an outsider looking in, I know you're sick of hearing it. You're sick of getting asked why you're still with him, getting told that he will never be anything in life and that you deserve, and could have, someone so much better. I totally understand that you are sick of hearing that. Who wouldn't get fed up with answering the same thing almost every day? But let me tell you something:
You need to realize how much you are worth.
As an outsider looking in, I know what you want in your future. You want a nice house, a career that is going to pay you well, and a happy little family. Do you really think someone who chooses drugs and alcohol over you is going to supply that for you? Do you think someone who doesn't want to better himself is going to be able to support a family emotionally and financially?
As an outsider looking in, I listen to you rant about him all of the time. I hear you constantly telling me, "I deserve better." And it is true. You really do deserve better. And you need to realize that yourself. You are worth so much more than the boy who constantly pulls you down. You are worth so much more than that boy who you have to scold and basically act like his mother because he can't get his life together and grow up. You deserve someone who is going to make the sacrifices you make for this boy. You deserve someone who is going to love you as much as you love them. You don't deserve this boy; You deserve a man.
As an outsider looking in, I know that this is going to be hard. I know thinking about a relationship, as toxic as yours, sucks because you don't want to deem your relationship as toxic, even though it is. But you have so many people you can cry to, people who can support you, and people who care to see you happy.
You deserve someone who will give you the world.
An outsider looking in.