For many of us, graduation is approaching. Yes, we will be leaving this beautiful campus is less than a month. This is both a scary and exciting time, but one things for sure. We will all miss our friends terribly, unless we have the luxury of living in the same city as them.
We need to make new friends. The idea of intentionally seeking out friends using a “guide” is kind of a crazy notion to consider, but bear with me. With sororities and fraternities guiding us toward our group of friends freshman year and the popular hashtag #nonewfriends sweeping the nation, it’s safe to assume that the last time we made friends was freshman year and even then we had a lot of direction. Now, we will be thrown out into the workplace wilderness with no happy hour buddy or three-year roommate in sight. We need to branch out like we never have before. So luckily Lifestyle of the Unemployed, a fun and pretty insightful blog that I follow, has some ideas to get started in finding our new entourages.
Make it a priority: We all love a good Netflix sesh and painting our nails. We could spend days organizing our room and hours grocery shopping. The fact of the matter is that it’s easier to stay home or stay occupied with pointless to do lists than put yourself out there. But your friendships are pivotal to your happiness. So make it a priority to meet as many people as you can from the start.
Where to start: Acquaintances are where you should start. Acquaintances, verging on friends, are usually a pretty eclectic group and not one that really hangs out together. The key here is to be the nucleus. Stop worrying about who will “gel” and just invite a random group to get together. It will take a few rounds. But eventually a clique will form.
Bridge the gap: I’m sure you know someone who you always talk to but never hangout with outside of a structured activity. You need to find their passion outside of it. Relate to it in some way and invite them to something that they’d be into. You’re going to put them on the spot, so it might be better to make the invite via text.
Just Say "Yes": If you’re on the other end of the text I just mentioned, say yes. Everyone is looking for another friend. But for some reason we keep ourselves so reserved that we miss opportunities. Just say yes. Next time someone asks you to join their softball team, the answer should be yes. Next time someone asks you to help with a charity event, the answer should be yes. You get the point.
Go Deep: This is the hard part. Eventually, you’re going to need to explore the personal side of your acquaintance. Maybe that’s what makes them a friend. Invite them to beers somewhere quiet. Start with yourself. Eventually they’ll open up. A word of advice, this isn’t an interview. You should be asking probing questions, but for every story they share, you should be sharing one. Sharing is caring.
Grow Up: As much as I hate to admit it, the reason my buds are moving away is that they’re moving on to the next part of life. You can’t resist the future. Embrace it. And grow up. Maybe it’s just time to join the club.
All of this may sound awkward or obnoxious, but most likely it will go over well. After all, there will be a ton of fish out of water like yourself and they'll be thankful you made the first move. Now get out there and mingle.
