I have learned and realized so much over the years about friendships. The people in your life who you call friends are so important to your self growth and life. They are the people that shape you in a different way, they bring you up when you are feeling down, they know you sometimes better then your own family. They are the people who you know you can trust and turn to. In my experience, I have had a hard time making friends, mostly because I am a quiet person and most people upon meeting me will think that I do not like them because I never say anything. It takes me a while to get comfortable enough to come out of my shell and to be myself. It is something that I have gotten better at but definitely still struggle with. Being overweight for most of my life only made that worse, I carried around a fear that people did not actually like me, they just dealt with me. I harped on that for years. I let it consume my thoughts. It dictated everything that I did. I closed myself off to so many people because I was so afraid of letting them in only to get hurt again. The friends that I have are few at this point. I was never a fan of having a thousand friends because it overwhelms me. I would have an expectation to constantly be around all of them at once. I would feel like I would have to put on a smile and be someone that I am not. For some people, having a lot of friends works, they can handle it, I can’t and that is okay. My friends are people who I have slowly let in. I took the time to know them, fight, laugh and cry with them. I trust them with my life. The trust is important to me, I always need to know that it is there. I used to worry about them picking up and leaving me for someone better but they never have. I wonder all of the time what I did to deserve them or what makes them stay around. I think it is probably because I am a nice person who listens. It took me so long for me to see what they saw in me in myself. It was so hard for me to see myself like they do. I never believed in it, I was so insecure about myself. Once I finally started to believe it, I noticed a change. My friendships have only gotten stronger over the years, even if I don’t talk to everyone all of the time, I know that if I need any of one them, they would be there. All that matters to me is that I have people who I can count on. It is important to get rid of those people in your life who make you feel small, unworthy, and who bring you down. The toxic people are the ones who you need to get rid of. I have done that over the years because I realized that I deserved better. I finally found my self worth and was able to actually hold on to it enough to take in what I thought was a friend but only turned out to be someone who was not meant to be in my life anymore. Keep the people in your life who lift you up, love and cherish them. They are hard to find so hold on them tight, never let them go.