Without a doubt, breaking up with a friend is beyond harder than leaving a significant other in my opinion. However, my situation was different, very different.
I had a rough first semester and I hadn’t reflected on it as much as I am now. I failed a few tests, received mediocre grades, and didn’t try as hard as I’ve could have in my opinion. I remember crying a lot, more than I ever had during any semester in school.
Aside from the hard change and transition into college, the only one friend I had was beginning to take a toll on who I was becoming in college. It felt overwhelming and almost uncontrollable but at the same time, I didn’t bother to change anything about it since it was the only one I made.
Things in this friendship began to slowly break apart as I realized I didn’t like the way I was content with simple things others might have like she did. I wanted to enjoy others people presences and socialize on the weekends but she didn’t. She only wanted to be with me and me only. While I did enjoy our friendship when it lasted, the sourness of her behavior began to rot my interest in trying to open up to her about my other experiences on campus meeting others and spending time without her.
As the second semester began to start, I realized how it felt like a second chance for me. A fresh breath. A new start. A new me as cliche as that sounds. The longing of conquering my fears of socializing and finding my confidence academically where two things I inspired for from the very start of the school year.
The details of my friendship, in a nutshell, began to feel like a relationship I couldn’t handle anymore. I more than tolerated our friendship for her while all she did was to continue to push me further away. She left me no choice but leave her, and if you are reading this I’m sorry.
I guess this in apology letter for her in a sense, but also a confrontation message of mine she needed to hear which she refused to let me say.
In my experiences of making both good and bad friends since the second semester is almost halfway through, I’ve learned how to be a better person overall for others and most importantly myself. Through friendship, I was able to learn how to be myself and what I qualities I appreciate in others yet also what they have to offer me.
One of the beauties of friendship is that we can choose who to be friends with. Ultimately we have the power to choose to open the doors of our minds, private worlds, and select certain individuals to enter our lives.
