My extended family is very, very large. Very. My dad was one of eight kids and my mom was one of four, and most of those siblings had four kids of their own, and so on. Plus two of my grandparents had 10 (or more) siblings, and I have family in Europe I've never met. With a family this large, it's hard to get to know my aunts and uncles, let alone cousins, great family, etc.
But regardless, my parents have said things like this to me for all of my life: "Family is most important, and you'll understand that more once you're older," and "You think friends matter now, but later they won't matter so much anymore."
But is that true?
For me, the answer is no. Friendship is more important because being blood-related shouldn't matter in the closeness of a relationship. I want to bond with people because I love who they are, and I want the other person to feel that way, too. Just because someone is your cousin or aunt doesn't mean you have to love who they are, and just because someone isn't family doesn't mean he/she is less important.
Suppose I have a best friend who is my age, shares my interests, and we both care tremendously for one another. Then I also have a cousin who is 30 years older than me, who I rarely see and have nothing to bond over with besides blood relation. By the logic of what my parents said, the cousin matters more in my life and I should focus more on the familial relationship rather than with the friend. See the problem?
When I reflect on friends and family, I think of the times when I went to great measures for a friend and somebody said, "Why would you do that? Friends come and go." Yes, that lovely saying, which I get a lot from my parents, "Friends come and go, but family is here to stay." But frankly, I don't see it that way. I don't love my parents and my brother because we're genetically similar, but rather because I bonded with them through my lifetime and love to have them in my life. Yes, they're family, but it's more important to me that they're my life-long friends.
Creating the separation between family and friends is where I make my objection.
I view everybody as people—people I can choose to love and be close to based on who they are and if they love having me around, too. I dislike categorizing people, especially based on things that have nothing to do with the subject. After all, why should DNA be what determines your relationships, when you have your heart to help you choose?
So to those who said I'd understand when I'm older—I'm older now, and I still disagree, just not for the reason you thought.
