At times, I think about how strange it is that Clara and I are such close friends. We're incredibly different people. We have completely different senses of humor. We don't carry ourselves the same way, publicly or privately. We don't necessarily enjoy the same songs, books, TV shows or even people for that matter. She's outgoing, confident, convicted, ambitious, declarative. I'm passive, shy, deflective, contained. Honestly, for a while, I never thought that her and I would connect. She represented a level of power and control over her presence that I never thought about entering into. She was someone that I'd never typically approach and would only observe from a distance.
Our closeness came about in one of those situations I couldn't really see coming or even totally explain in retrospect, but I accept it and look at everything a little differently because of it. This friendship has taught me how valuable it is to embrace different personalities. People kind of suck at being open-minded and their practices almost never match their theories. I should know. I have a hard time with change. I've always befriended people just like me. It's an easier way to live, there's no denying that. However, my friendship with Clara gives me so many reasons to embrace differences.
She never tries to change me. She never shames me for the way I handle my problems or process my feelings. She's patient with me even when I frustrate her and she always steps back and apologizes when she's gone too far. Her confidence and self-awareness have helped me to take ownership of the parts of myself that I've been taught to hide or even hate. There are certain things that we'll never agree on and certain things that we'll never completely understand about one another but we always commit to trying. We never cease to listen as best we can without projecting ourselves into the situation at hand and if we do, we own up to it immediately. We hold each other accountable and we communicate even when it's difficult or painful to do so. For that, I will always be amazed and grateful.
Last summer, we spent countless days together in a nearby park, under a giant, shady tree, next to a baseball field and a wide, grassy hill. We laughed until we were delirious, chased spirits and told stories. We moved from being ridiculously silly to intensely deep in a matter of minutes, shifting in and out of multiple vibes like nobody's business. I trust her with things that I sometimes don't even trust myself with. I ask her questions even if she doesn't have the answers. I tell her stupid jokes even if I know she'll roll her eyes. She gives me the space to get lost in everything and keeps me grounded all at the same time. She's one of those people who is reliably and undeniably just there.
I love that we always have a different perspective to offer one another. I love that we can just drive around for hours talking and never run out of things to say. Most importantly, we've shown each other that there's no single "right way" to live. We don't force each other into molds that don't fit, and we respect how the world looks pretty different through the other person's eyes. My freshman year at college has been really tough without having her two minutes away, but in my darkest moments I hold on to the moments and the places where she was my guiding light. I'm sure that she always will be.
