I used to love cats. As a little girl, I would carry them around our yard by their necks and squish the life out of them. But as the years went by I thought of them as a nuisance. That is until my brother brought home a Russian blue cat that he found on Craigslist.

Yes, we have a Craigslist cat. At first, I swore this thing hated me, and frankly the feelings were mutual; but over time my coldness towards Artiem faded into indifference, then from indifference to tolerance, tolerance into appreciation and appreciation into affection. Now I let him claw at my socks and sleep on my bed. We’ve come a long way.

But I think life is a lot like Artiem and I. Often we have a set of beliefs that we stand firmly by but when we’re surrounded by an opposing idea, which causes us to slowly mold to it. Without awareness, our strong opposition to a certain belief fades into indifference, then tolerance, then appreciation and finally confirmation.

It’s healthy and necessary to be around people who believe differently than you do...it’s the only way to grow, challenge your own beliefs and see the world from a different perspective. But I think we need to be careful about the negative changes that can happen by osmosis. We should stop worrying about the number of friends we have and start thinking about the quality and value of those friendships.

They say you can look at your friends and see your future. I don’t think that means you have to surround yourself with like-minded people who only have the thoughts, actions and beliefs that you want to have, but to look at people with healthy mindsets and habits.

I think that means looking friends with different questions...

Does this person just tell me what I want to hear? Or do they challenge my way of thinking?

Does this person challenge my beliefs in order to change them or to strengthen them?

Does this person allow me to do the same for them?

Does this person encourage me or always bring me down?

Do they see the good in others or constantly gossip and judge?

Do they make me a better person?