No, I'm not talking about Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis (although, I really liked that movie).
I'm talking about the dreaded no-strings-attached situations we all go through sometime in our lives. Sometimes without even realizing it.
Friends with benefits, if you don't already know, is when two people agree upon a set of rules to keep their—situationship—strictly sexual. Sounds awful, right? Not always—as long as you can follow these do's and don'ts of having successful friends with benefits!
1. DO sleep together.
Obviously. I mean, every friends with benefits is different, but usually, the whole point of one is to sleep with each other without any complications (aka feelings).
So, by all means, sleep together!2. DON'T sleep together.
Sleep together as in have sex, but don't sleep together as in staying the night at each other's houses. After you've done your business, take your business and get out of there. Don't stay the night or else it'll lead to attachments!
3. DO have open and honest communication with each other.
Prior to getting into your little arrangement, talk to each other first. Mutually agree to a set of rules ahead of time. For example, will you two be having sex with other people?
Also, keep that line of open and honest communication throughout. It's important to keep checking in on each other's thoughts and possible feelings.
4. DON'T hang out outside of the bedroom.
Or the back seat of your car, or a motel room, or wherever else people may have sex at that isn't their bedroom—the point is to keep it strictly sexual. Anything outside of just having sex, even a quick run to Starbucks together, is a date.
Keep it in the sheets and out of the streets or else one of you will catch feelings.
5. DO explore your sexual fantasies and desires with each other.
This is when that whole open and honest communication comes into play. Part of the benefits of having a friends with benefits is that you can essentially explore any sexual desires and fantasies you may have with each other—with no complications (if you follow these guidelines).
6. DON'T introduce each other to each other's friends.
Choose the right person to have a friends with benefits with. You don't want to choose someone who's your best friend—things are going to end up messy—but you do want to choose someone who's, say, a cousin's best friend's sister.
Just don't pick someone from your inner circle, and don't let them introduce you into theirs.
7. DO respect their decision to end things.
All good things will—unfortunately—have to come to an end at some point. Remember that prior to getting into a friends with benefits. If you're looking for a happy ending (aside from the big "O"), then look elsewhere because no, not all friends with benefits lead to a relationship. You should never go into one expecting it to either.
No two friends with benefits are the same—just like no two relationship is the same. But I found these do's and don'ts to be super helpful for when I went through that stage with my now boyfriend.
Yes, that's right. We were friends with benefits before getting into a relationship.
But like I said, not every friends with benefits ends with a cute flash mob Justin Timberlake orchestras for Mila Kunis. Not all of them ends like my boyfriend and I's either. So, be mindful of that. Be prepared for it and as always, be safe. Safe sex is great sex!
