"Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough"

My last two weeks of my freshman year of college, I was broken up with by somebody who swore they wouldn't hurt me, and let me tell you, it hurt. It felt like I could have smashed the windows out of his Buick and stabbed my eyes out with the broken glass and even that would have hurt less. I walked back inside my dorm building, tear-stained face, holding the last piece of dignity I had left until the door shut behind me. Waiting unexpectedly in the lobby were two of my friends (Gracie and Celeste) and the RA from the third floor (Jenna) sitting on the couch.

"I just got dumped guys"

I didn't hold in my tears anymore and the first thing they did was get up and hug me. I stared down at my penguin rainboots for what felt like forever as they surrounded me with nothing but love and affection. My RA (Rachel, but we call her RA-chel...get it? Because her name is Rachel but she's also an RA. It's funny okay) sat me down on the couch until my mom got there to pick me up. Nothing beats love from people that matter most to you.

So this is an open letter to those people who saw me at my lowest point and still thought I was worth something. I hope people reading this letter have these types of people in their life who love them no matter what.

Dear Mom and Caleb,

You're supposed to love me unconditionally but thank you for letting me sob at dinner that night and trying to distract me by listening to Logic's new album. Thank you for holding me while I cried all weekend and still willingly sat around me even though I didn't shower for five days and still offered me food even when I didn't eat for three. Thank you for not forcing me to communicate with people and let me sleep in until one in the afternoon. Thank you for telling me my short hair looks amazing.

Dear Friends Back Home,

Thank you for coming over without any questions that night. Thank you for being the most loyal and stable people I have had in my life and always willing to drop everything to be with me, no matter how small my situation. I am so grateful to be able to be at peace knowing you always have my back and support me.

Dear Roommate,

Thank you for reminding me that I'm worth something. Thank you for listening to me cry for hours on end and telling me to go to class even though I didn't see why it was worth it and reminding me why everything is worth it. Thank you for coming to the top of the Union Garage with me so I wasn't alone. Thank you for helping me love myself again. We are flowers and the world is our garden.

Dear Paprika and Friends,

I am speechless trying to write about you ladies. I am so grateful to have a system like this to be able to call a second home. Thank you to all the advice and meetups and smiles and pictures if there is one thing that was meant to be, it was definitely meeting you all. Thank you.

Dear NMD (and Alyssa),

Thank you for constantly talking me off the ledge and reminding me that just because one person doesn't love you, doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Thank you for late nights at the garage and taking me out and making me smile when I needed it the most. Thank you for putting up with my constant questions and self-doubt and reminding me how strong I am. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on even if you were all the way in West Privilege.

Dear the rest of my Towson friendos,

Thank you beyond words for making college easier to deal with. Thank you for putting up with late night text messages (mostly consisting of "I'm sad" or "I'm crying again") and having genuine care for my life. There's a difference between "worrying" and "caring" and all of you have shown that you either care or you don't, not just simply "worrying." Thank you for making me feel like I have a place in this world.

Dear Self,

You are your own best friend and this just proves that all you have at the end of the day is yourself. You are worth more than the mess that has been created so take time to love yourself first. You got through the worst of it, keep pushing ahead.

So, reader, you just went through a breakup. I hope you have friends that fall into all of these categories because it's important not to isolate yourself and think that "not talking is going to help the situation or make these feelings go away." It's important to have friends that love you, but it's also important to love yourself.

Through this heartache, I am grateful.