To the friends I have lost along the way,
Senior year was a quick roller coaster ride. It was full of amazing memories and hilarious photos. That summer was one we had always wanted. Staying out late. Shoving our faces with ice cream. Gossiping until 3 a.m.
We ended it all with tearful goodbyes and promises to stay in touch. It was easy at first. Each night before bed we would text each other and try to do group video chats. We kept our snap streaks and planned to visit each other at school. We would text each other crazy college stories, and soon those just got further and further apart.
Sure, keeping in touch was easy for some, but I was super excited to have a complete fresh start. I invested myself in every aspect of my school. I made new friends, joined clubs, went to college club nights and hung out and watched scary movies with people until 3 a.m. every night. My time was extremely limited, especially if I still wanted alone time and time to sleep before my 8 a.m. classes.
We all grew up in different ways. Our interests became different and our circle of friends grew. Being on my phone for any reason became less and less of a priority for me as I became part of a new family at school and was also drowning in homework.
Snap streaks ended, and things became weird between us as I drifted away. I tried to come back, you know I did, and I was pushed aside. We tried to hang out over breaks, it worked a few times, but I had other commitments, and so did all of you. I was ridiculed for not making enough time, but it is time I genuinely did not have.
It ended poorly, we all know that. I have taken a load of blame for everything that has happened. I am not doing that anymore.
People grow up. People develop different interests and personalities change. If you haven’t noticed, you have all changed too. There was never an, “I’m so proud of you” or “I’m so happy for you” as things in my life changed. Eventually I realized it was becoming a friendship I was being pushed out of.
I began to realize that I have so much more to worry about than high school friendships anyways. I have new friends to care about, new adventures to look forward to and a new lifestyle to embrace.
I am no longer taking all the blame.
I am no longer worrying about how you’re doing, because I know there isn’t even a second thought about how I’m doing. Maybe a text to the group every now and then discussing you seeing me in public or an Instagram picture I post, but nothing positive or genuine.
I am embracing my new life, one filled with positivity, happiness, and much more.
Sure, I wish you all well and I hope we can reconnect one day to re kindle that genuine bond we once had, but only when the time is right. Until then, I hope you’re doing well, and if it means anything to you, I am doing just fine.
Sincerely,
Your old friend Nina
