On Thursday, November 17, 2016 between 10 and 11pm, a bunch of my closest girlfriends and I embarked on a voyage on Long Island in Suffolk County, and had just so happen to stumble upon the most interesting thing we’ve seen all month: a plastic, headless goose. After seeing that it was headless, we took it under our wing—oh, don’t worry, the puns have only just begun—and decided to name it, nurture it, and raise it as our own until we believe it’s time to send him back into the wild to live the free life that he deserves. We figured rescuing a poor, headless goose is the least we could do to show our gratitude for all the world has done for us, especially at a time so close to Thanksgiving.

We decided to name him Glen the Goose, a step up from his alleged former name, Goocifer. Perhaps Goocifer was a fitting name when he was still in possession of his head, but now he lives a new life; a life where he can hold his (metaphorical) head up high, regardless of what others say or do. Yes, Glen is a very fitting name indeed.

And now, I present to you Glen on his journey in establishing the free life that he deserves.

Here's Glen when we first found him. We took it upon ourselves to let him ride shot gun, it was the least we could do to fill his heart with joy. It was like chicken soup for his poor, scarred soul. He looks so happy, don't you think?

We immediately brought Glen to our dorm and threw him an impromptu surprise party. We figured he deserves it, considering all he's been through without his head.

Here's Glen on his first day of school. We couldn't be any more proud of him!

Me: honk

Me to me: honk honk

Ladies night out!

It's clear that these ladies got their fill of Grey Goose (ha, ha). No, but really, Glen had his first sleepover! Isn't that exciting?

After a long, wild night, Glen's head just was still just not in the right place...

So we went around campus, searching high and low for his head, or even some fellow birds to hang around with...whichever one showed up first.

After a long journey, Glen the Goose has been reunited with his head, connecting his mind and body, thus healing his soul. His quest has now been fulfilled, and he can return to his rightful place in the wild as a righteous goose. As we set him free, our hearts will always remember the friendship we have made and the memories we have shared with our beloved Goose. And for Glen, we are forever grateful.

Remember to always try to give back to the world by helping others. You never know what could come out of a good deed; you might even luck out like us and create a beautiful friendship like the one we share with Glen. We will celebrate our friendship with Glen on Thanksgiving Day, as we chow down on turkey, a cousin of his that he recently stopped talking to because of a dispute over undisclosed reasons.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!