At some point in any milllennial relationship, we all have come across those three little words. Three little words that have the possibility to cause so much pleasure and often a slew of complications. The three extremely precarious words that exponentially change the dynamic of any type of friendship. I'm not talking about the phrase that includes the infamous "L" word. I'm talking about friends with benefits (FWB).
Now, some of you might be offended that I'm even bringing this dish to the table, but the truth is, we have all partaken of or at least considered this type of arrangement. If not, you've probably questioned the possibility of whether or not these kinds of situations are even feasible.
You see, I don't like commitment. I've been hurt once or twice, just like anyone else. I mean why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, right? To be honest, its not a pleasant feeling having your heart ripped into a thousand pieces and then discarded like yesterday's bad leftovers. It sucks. We've all been there. So in today's commitment free or no strings attached culture, it's worth wondering whether or not a friends with benefits type of arrangement is a reality. In most cases, it's not.
In these FWB arrangments, someone usually gets hurt or develops the worst possible emotional illness known to man, the "f" word—feelings. Those nasty little bastards that creep up on you when you aren't looking and then, BAM! Nothing is the same after that. Usually feelings will put the whole "no strings attached" motto to bed, no pun intended, thus ruining the entire system. However, there are a few guidelines that individuals truly intent on preserving the art of FWB can adhere to, ensuring that they will be both be commitment free and happy in the sack.
At the end of the day (or night hehe), its all about being honest and setting clear boundaries. Failure to participate in either can land you in some awkward situations. The biggest issue that most people have occurs when they develop feelings for the other person—which you always do—but aren't honest about tjis and they keep hooking up. Continuously hooking up after developing feelings only leads to more intense romantic feelings, but now he/she is in deep (no pun intended), making it much more complicated or hard to stop.
Oh that's the cacth, You have to stop at some point. You didn't think this would last forever did you? Ha. Nice try.
Sadly, people are more afraid of looking needy versus being honest and backing out in order to preserve the friendship. That's the other thing about friends with benefits, you actually have to be friends. That means no judgment and genuine concern for the well being of the other person.
In all honesty, our generation overall general suffers from emotional damage. We fear relationships almost as much as we fear cancer. We used to creep on who our significant others' top 3 best friends on snap chat were and then became furious when snap chat took that privilege away from us. We check what tweets our boyfriends favorite, and sometimes we read our girlfriends texts with people of the opposite sex. Suspicion and fear of rejection is a lifestyle, so why devote yourself to one person? All of this occurs because we have an intense fear that we will be played, or cheated on, or embarrassed somehow.
Friends with benefits can be a fun, adventurous excursion, if only we approach it at the right angle. When we use it to fill the void of lost love or fear of commitment, we lose the concept that sex can be fun, consensual, and most of all casual. . . without causing emotional damage. we must not abuse the idea that sex can be recreational, not just used to fill the hardship of emotional damage. Friends with benefits does not positively impact the emotionally weary, but rather entices those that dear love in its entire form.
