This is the first post in a three-part series called “Lessons from Last Year.” As I finished out the year and reflected on family changes and life in general, I realized that the last year has been a good one even though it was often quite challenging.

Here is the first of three specific changes I made over the last year that had a significant and positive impact on my life.

I remember when I started college and began seeing short videos that related to college floating across my social media feed. The one I distinctly remember had three options: sleep, study, & social life. But if the mouse tried to click all three, one would always de-select. The poor student could only choose two at a time, no matter how hard he tried.

Yup, sounds about right, I thought.

That was my experience. I really did want a social life in college - not wild parties or anything, just a few good friends - but I chose sleep and study for my first semester. I had a very difficult time making any extra time for friends and even family in my life because I was just trying to sleep, eat, and do well in my classes.

The Idea

Somewhere near the beginning of this last year, I ran across an idea through Phylicia's blog.

Phylicia shared that she schedules at least one visit with a friend each week. That could be a phone or Skype call, a coffee date, an email, having someone over, or any other option in our technology age. It isn't a big enough task to consume her week by any means, but it helps her invest in intentional friendships.

Perspective Shift

That's when I realized that I had seen time with friends as optional. In other words, if I was caught up on school (which, for me, means that I'm ahead by 2-3 days at least), then I could spend time with friends. However, if life was too busy, then I needed to wait before I could "reward" myself with a visit.

But friends are valuable. And I've realized that I don't just want them in my life when everything is going well; we need each other most when life is falling apart, when tests don't go well, and when we're struggling with changing circumstances.

I've also realized that I don't just want my friends to be there for me, but I want to be there for them. How can I be available for my friends when they're going through a hard time if I make friendship a low priority?

While school is important and I continue to be intentional about my classes, I've realized that the friendships I make will last a lifetime if I invest intentionally in those around me.

People are worth prioritizing.

Practical Tips

So, how have I actually done this?

It may sound silly, but I do actually plan times to meet with friends if it's not happening naturally. I try to plan for schoolwork each week, and I can also use that time to see if I've already decided to eat a meal with someone or have another visit planned. If not, I'll think about who I haven't seen recently and shoot them a text. Or, I may think about my long-distance friends and try to schedule a Skype call.

Some weeks, I end up doing quite a bit (by my standards!) with friends. Other weeks, I only get one visit in. But you know what? I'm still visiting and building relationships, whether it's a hectic week or a calm one.

One of the things that has helped me most may sound silly if you're not a type-A, love-to-organize kind of person... but it's worked great for me! When I spend time with friends, I take a specific-colored pen and write their names into my planner. It both helps me keep track of how well I'm investing in friendships, and it encourages me when I open my planner and see splashes of color.

Last, I try to take advantage of technology. If I'm thinking about or praying for a friend, I'll often send them a quick text. It's simple, but I know it can be so encouraging to receive.

Worth It

For the amount of effort I've put into friendships this past year, the results have been exponential. I'm incredibly blessed by the friends God has put in my life, and I want to keep growing these friendships.

We have endless options for investing in friends. Start simply, and start now.

You won't regret it.

Part 2: coming soon!