Somewhere along the road I lost my best friend. The girl I used to tell everything to. The one I would call crying if something when wrong. I never realized how much our friendship meant to me until I was the only one trying to save it.
Of course some people drift apart once high school was over. But for people who were still living in the same town and going to the same college, you would think that not much would change. You began choosing everyone else over me and expected me to still be there when you needed me. Which I was, but you were never there when I needed you. You began to vent to me about your problems and ask for advice. Which I loved, but you did the opposite of what I suggested. You chose a boy over our friendship and that was when I realized that we were no longer the close friends that we once were.
You began to drink way more than anyone ever should and at the most inappropriate times. You began to only hang out with me if we were going to some party. You started to make friends with people that made me feel uncomfortable. You left me out and expected me to still be there when your new friends did not show. You told me that you were sorry and you realized that you were in the wrong, but in the same breath you did that exact same thing again. Our friendship was becoming toxic.
I was afraid to tell you anything because I knew that you would spill my secrets to someone else. I was afraid to even be your friend because all you were doing was criticizing me. I was always there for you. I dropped everything one night to come see you because you were pulled over somewhere crying about the boy that you chose over me. I made you laugh until you were okay enough to make it home on your own. I did everything I could to help you. And all you ever did was throw it up in my face.
You would make snide comments about your other friends, which made me realize that you probably say the same things about me when I'm not around. The worst thing you did was tell me that I was an awful friend when all I ever tried to do was help you. I know I didn't lose you overnight and I know that it was partially my fault that we grew apart. But there comes a point in our lives when you just have to give up the petty things that started fights in high school. Instead of picking a fight, talking about it would have been so much simpler.
It hurts that when I started dating my boyfriend that you picked him apart to find something wrong with him. I wish you could have accepted that I was happy instead of trying to make me as miserable as you were at the time. I am so sorry that our friendship has come to an end. I am even more sorry that we will never be able to talk like we once did before. I miss you. More than you'll ever know.
Love,
Your Ex-Bestfriend
