To My Friend With Depression

To My Friend With Depression,

I’m writing to you because I never hear from you anymore. And I miss you. You don’t get to let me get attached and then disappear on me. I won’t allow it. You’re my person and right now…I miss my person. I want to know that you are okay. If you need space, I can give that to you. Don’t go MIA because of your depression. I can handle you at your worse. Sure, I may have a miniature freak out on a wide range scale but only because I could’ve been helping you much longer ago. I’ll have a tantrum because I love and care about you.

I’ve resorted to writing because text messages are no longer viable ways to reach you. That and I’ve missed my chance to install a tracker on your phone. (Kidding!) I’m writing because I no longer want these words to be my own.

Some words I think you need to hear:

1. You are beautiful. No matter what: You. Are. Beautiful.
2. You are wanted.
3. You have a kind heart.
4. You have so much to offer.
5. You are worth more.
6. You are revered and adored.
7. Your smile is stunning.
8. You are noticed.
9. You are missed.
10. You are loved.

I miss us doing our ten affirmations for our better selves with each other. I miss you. Period. I really hope that you will be okay and that the little voice in your head is a warrior and continues to battle away all of those thoughts that make you sad and feel unloved. I’ll always be here as a friendly supporter and a glamazon warrior prepared to kick some butt. I love you. I miss you. I miss you smiling and stealing those never-should-be-captured moments on your phone. I miss you laughing.

I know you probably miss you too and I wish that I knew how to fix it and that depression was something I could punch in the face. I can’t tell you I know how it feels because I don’t. I do know that I hate that you feel this way. I hate that you feel this way because depression is undeserving of you. To me, Depression is undeserving of you because it’s like that sleazy significant other that doesn’t deserve you. Depression is that one jerk in the group that no one wants to hang out with but everyone lets come along because they feel bad. Depression is that dark voice that gets to live in your head and drown you with bad feelings when I want to shower you with good ones. Depression is an expert state-of-the-art thieving system because it’s stolen you.

You told me this was a journey that only you can take. Just know I’ll be here hoping and waiting for you to find our way home. Until then, I’ll leave a light on.