When people move away from their hometown, be it to go to college, for a new and exciting job, or simply a change of scenery, it's nearly inevitable that they'll drift away from the friends that they grew up with. Losing a friend can be just as bad as losing a lover. Physiologically, we go through many of the same symptoms: our stomachs and heads hurt, we lose our appetites, we worry where things could have gone wrong and who is at fault. We wonder how bad of a person we must be to let ourselves lose contact with someone who was once such an important part of our life.
This is perhaps one of the biggest shocks I see when bright-eyed seniors go off to college. A lot of the friends we interacted with for eight hours a day, five days a week in school suddenly drift away. A reality of moving away from our hometowns is the realization that some of the friends that we had in high school were what I like to call "fishbowl friends." We saw them for 8 hours a day, multiple days a week, so we got along with them, and had some great memories along the way. However, priorities change, and as we change as people, we need to understand that it's okay to let go of relationships that don't align with our new perspectives. This is never easy to do; one can't help but remember all the great times we had together with people who we thought would be by our side forever. But after we move away, something changes; that friendship seems forced, and the odd text message or Snapchat goes unanswered because there is no more common ground, no more homework to discuss or mean teacher to complain over.
A "friend breakup" doesn't mean that you hate that person. It's common to think of the work "breakup" as a falling out, a negative to be avoided at all costs. The reality of the situation is more times than not much less dramatic- when we aren't in that "fishbowl" of interaction, it's common to lose touch. This isn't anyone's fault- it's an unfortunate point of growing older and learning that our perspectives change. To all my high school friends who I have lost touch with, just know this- I am still cheering you on from the sidelines, even if you don't see it.
