My Parents Are Too Strict
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Adulting

I'll Be A Friend To My Kids Before I Am Ever An Authority Figure

You're supposed to help, not hurt.

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I'll Be A Friend To My Kids Before I Am Ever An Authority Figure
Madison Zegarlowicz

I've read articles recently about being a parent before being a friend, and the opposite of that idea causing entitled kids. I understand the need to draw a line between being a parent and being a friend, but how broad does that line need to be? Do you have to choose?

Growing up, my dad made it clear that he was my dad. He was not my friend. He was not around to be my buddy. He was around to be a parent, to teach me right from wrong, and to be an authority figure. There was no gray area. That made me feel like I couldn't consider him a friend, I couldn't confide in him, and I had to hide things.

After all, he was the parent.

My mom, on the other hand, was my friend before she was anything else. She encouraged me to share things with her, and never stressed the fact that she was my mother above everything else. To her, above all else, she was my friend whom I could trust and share things with no parental judgment. Parental guidance? Sure. But she never judged me.

Because of the sides of the spectrum my parents occupied, I know now that I want to be my child's friend before I stress the fact that I am their parent. I want them to know they can trust me, and not fear that they will get in trouble if they tell me things.

Honestly, I don't want to be an authority figure to my children. I want to be a friend, a confidant, an equal.

I want them to enjoy my company, and truly want to spend time with me versus feeling like they have to.

Call me stereotypical, but I want to be the "cool mom." I want my children to consider me someone they can hang out with, not someone they fear getting scolded by.

Ultimately, strict parenting leads to kids hiding things for fear of getting in trouble. For me, when I'm a parent, the more open my household is, the better it will be.

Even if that means I have to be my children's friend first, and then their mom.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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