Spoiling Your Kids
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Dear Parents, Loving Your Kids Doesn't Mean You Should Provide Them With Everything

Things that come easy are not worth the time or effort.

Love your kids, but never spoil them.

"Oh my god. My dad just bought me the latest Yeezy!"

"I just received this iPhone from my mom yesterday."

"Oh, you have a curfew? Aren't you too old to have a curfew?"

Whenever I hear these comments from friends or random strangers, the term "spoiled brat" just comes to my mind.

And, as a matter of fact, I always feel that this term is so degrading, especially to young children and teens who are raised in an overly lenient environment without specifically defined boundaries.

In those cases, isn't it too condescending of me to simply use this term to define them, without actually knowing what it's like in their lives?

However, sometimes, you just can't help but be judgmental — or even jealous — especially when it comes to all of these so-called "privileges" you never had as a child.

You can never comprehend when your friends say things like, "Just ignore your parents, and do whatever you want" or "It's your life, not theirs." You just stare at them and think, "This person obviously doesn't know what he's saying."

Parenthood is one of the toughest jobs in the world, but at the same time, it's the easiest issue to have an opinion about. People are often debating parenthood and how it should be done.

The truth is, there is no such thing as right or wrong parenting, since each child is unique. Even the best parenting method isn't one-size-fits-all.

Looking back, I'm glad that my parents disagreed with some of my requests, despite how much of a tantrum I used to throw. They didn't give in, not even a little bit.

As a child, you're not able to understand the rationales behind your parents' decisions at times. You feel that they're being overbearing and controlling for no reason. That's totally normal.

Frankly speaking, it would be scarier to have my parents agree with every single one of my decisions with no questions asked. Why?

It is the fear that they could be indifferent toward what I am doing or passionate about.

A parent-child relationship is special and unique, and both parties should always be authentic and real to each other. That means giving honest opinions, even if it hurts.

Personally, I do hate it whenever my parents throw cold water on me, and I even contemplate about asking for their advice at times. However, them agreeing to every single of my decision and being "yes men" without any personal input is simply unthinkable.

They wouldn't be my parents. And I wouldn't prefer it otherwise. Working to gain their approval and respecting their views at the same time will always be the way to go for me.

Things that come easy are not worth the time and effort. Even though my parents may not give me whatever I want, it doesn't mean that they love me any less.

Loving your child is always a choice. There will be days when you feel that your child is misbehaving and pushing your threshold. You may even feel like you shouldn't give him or her so much love.

But, you wouldn't just walk out on him or her. Instead, you would try to find ways to rectify and correct them. You may lose certain aspects of your self-identity in order to benefit your child and improve as a parent. You may find making some decisions much tougher, too, as it's no longer about yourself.

How do you draw the line between loving and spoiling your child? This is entirely up to you as a parent.

Providing them with everything without them having to work for it is not feasible at all. I mean, just how much and how long can you actually provide for them anyway?

Over-indulging them will most likely give them a sense of entitlement, causing them to just take things for granted.

So, parents, loving your child is always going to be complicated. We may not understand why you say 'No' at times, but just give us some time. However, we do understand that disagreements won't extinguish this familial love.

We still wouldn't trade you for the world.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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