Coming to college at Briar Cliff has given me so many great opportunities and taught me many life lessons. Toller Hall played a huge part in that. There were nights when I loved it and nights when I couldn't stand it. So, for every Freshman coming to the Cliff this coming fall, here's a survival guide to get you through your first year in Toller. Good luck.
1. Invest in some earplugs.
There's a reason this is number one. There will be countless nights when you are woken up by people running down the hall at 4 A.M. screaming at the top of their lungs. Feel free to open the door and tell them to shut up or just save yourself the trouble and invest in a pair of earplugs.
2. Don't panic if the fire alarm goes off.
In fact, you probably shouldn't even bother getting out of bed. Nine out of ten times the sound is the result of some idiot doing what every person is taught NOT to do in the first grade. So, as long as you aren't on fire or can't smell any smoke you're better off putting in those earplugs we just talked about and going back to sleep.
3. Make sure you have a good pair of good shoes.
Toller Hall just so happens to be the dorm the furthest away from your classes. While unlike most campuses it won't take you 15 minutes to get from one place to another, it still sucks when you're in a hurry and get all the way to class only to realize you left your Psychology book back in your room. And don't even get me started on the long walks to the business office -- just be ready to become well acquainted with those.
4. Be prepared to have stronger legs and a better butt if you live on the 3rd or 4th floor.
Toller is the only residence hall without an elevator. So, if you happen to be living on the third or fourth floor in the fall then I am so, so very sorry. Especially if you're an athlete, those stairs after conditioning will be your worst enemy. Don't be embarrassed if you're out of breath by the second flight, we've all been there no matter how great of shape we thought we were in. But on the bright side you'll have a better butt by the end of the year!
5. Drama
Whatever you do, avoid it at all costs. Take it from someone with the experience, it's not something you should seek to start or join in on. These are the people you are going to have to spend nine months with and see every single day. So do yourself a favor and when drama starts up, shut it down quick.
6. Four Loko
Unless you want to be throwing up in the water fountain on the first floor (which actually happened, true story) just say no to whichever upperclassmen offers you this 24 oz can of poison. You don't want to be that freshman that winds up way too trashed at 7 pm on a Friday night.
7. Check for your keys before you take a shower
At some point in the semester you'll probably come back from the bathroom and realize your door got locked behind you. We've all been in that place and it's not fun to be standing in your towel, in the hall for an hour, because your roommate isn't answering their phone. And let's face it, security is probably going to take about 45 minutes to come unlock it. So just double check before you head off to the showers.
8. Speaking of showers...
I hope you have had some experience with cold water. Because, after a long hard day of classes, when all you want is a nice hot shower, you'll be pleasantly greeted more often than not with a sharp blast of ice cold water. But on the bright side you'll become a pro at taking showers in 5 minutes or less!
9. Be prepared to walk to another building to use the bathroom
If there's one thing that Toller is known for it's the constant plumbing issue. It happens slowly. First, one floor is taken out, but pretty soon it's the next floor and then all of a sudden the whole building is backed up and flooding. Do yourself a favor and don't even go into the bathrooms at this point. Instead, start plotting your alternate routes to the nearest bathroom because it's bound to happen at one point in the semester.
10. Be nice to the cleaning lady
While most of us are not quite sure what her name actually is (some call her "Esmeralda", some call her "crazy psycho lady") BE NICE TO HER. I'm going to say it again for the people in the back: Be nice to the cleaning lady. Because when it's 5 a.m. and you have an hour left before you have to get up, you don't want to have to wake up to the sound of her banging the vacuum against your door. Don't leave your trash in the hall either because she's not afraid to put it right in front of your door to be the first thing that greats you in the morning. (Also, she has the capability of cleaning or not cleaning the bathroom. Let me make it clear, you DO NOT want a dirty bathroom.) Her job is hard enough as it is without you making her life difficult on top of it. I promise you, it'll go a lot smoother if you're nice to her.
If you can get past these 10 things, then you are well on your way to surviving your first year in Toller Hall. I promise, it's not entirely as bad as it sounds.
