It's over -- the homework, the finals, the long nights at the library. Finals have come to a close and now we can all relax, knowing that we have no more responsibilities (at least school-related responsibilities) until classes resume next fall. But somehow, it's not as fulfilling as we thought it would be. Because now it's finally sinking in that it's over. Freshman year of college is over, and it's certainly been a wild ride.
Moving into the dorms seems like an eternity ago. When I moved into my dorm room, I was terrified. I was born and raised in New Orleans, which is a 15-hour drive from Charleston. I knew next to no one, and I was sure I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I know a lot of other people were feeling the same way that day: scared, unsure, homesick before our parents even left. But we figured it out. Our parents left and we bought our textbooks, figured out where our classes were and wandered into the dining halls, ready to take on whatever came next.
The first semester flew by. Once classes started, everything seemed to fall into place. Gradually, I learned that going to CofC wasn't a mistake. I loved the city and my classes (well, maybe not pre-calculus), and I adjusted to my new routine. I started making new friends, and everything just felt right. I watched as everyone around me found their place too. College finally felt normal.
Going home was definitely strange. Somehow, winter break was more strange than fall break or Thanksgiving break. Maybe it was because I worked some shifts at my old summer job. The last time I'd worked there, I'd been so nervous about what was coming: orientation, move-in, leaving behind my friends and family. Those nerves seemed so funny now. I was constantly asked about how I liked Charleston, and my answer consistently was, "I love it." That was when I truly figured out that I was telling the truth. I hadn't made the biggest mistake of my life. I'd made the best decision of my life.
Second semester came fast, bringing with it new classes and a more solidified group of friends. Figuring out where my classes were wasn't nearly as difficult as it had been before, and I was just so comfortable being back at school. My classes were even better (or, with the emergence of calculus, worse), and I knew my routine well enough to jump straight in without that adjustment period that had felt so uncomfortable before. Then, suddenly, spring break happened and was over as quickly as it came. This semester went even faster than the last. And now, here I sit, writing this and hardly believing that the semester is actually over. That all of my friends are scattered across the country, and we won't meet for dinner at 6:30 p.m. or walk to Walgreens in our pajamas to get ice cream until August.
I know that a lot of people write about what they've learned from their first year of college. This isn't exactly a revolutionary topic but bear with me because this is important. The absolute most important thing I've learned this year is to stop apologizing. My entire life I'd felt the need to apologize for things I like or for being too "nerdy." College has really allowed me to be myself. (Which I know is super cheesy, but I'm not apologizing, remember?) I've found a group of people who can tolerate my "Harry Potter" references and my belief that I can sing (or rap -- my discovery of Hamilton has not been good for my friends' ears). They don't only tolerate it -- they enjoy it and are nerdy in their own ways right along with me. Looking back on this year, I can definitively say that I've had a lot of success. And for those of you out there about to start college after this summer: I know you're freaked out. You may feel like you want to puke when you move in, but everything will fall into place. I can promise you that.
