As finals are quickly approaching and you start realizing that you should move your bed to the library, there are not only new responsibilities that you start to take on but feelings and realizations that start to come to light as well.
Daily, I am waking up thinking about what assignments are due in each course and when I can dedicate a majority of my day to the library. As the days seem to drag on, they also seem to shorten with the thought of all the papers, final assignments or presentations that need to be done. Looking at these days, I am longing for finals to come and making myself less stress-free. Studying is becoming a daily chore and going out is slowly withering away. Your social life becomes one with your computer and your notes and the library. The library and I have a very dedicated and loyal relationship by this time in the semester. Hanging out every day. The lib has seen me in my worst and in my best. That's when you know the relationship has hit a high note.
On the other hand, through all the studying and completing assignments daily, I can't help but shake the feeling that freshman year is quickly coming to a close. It seemed like yesterday it was move in day and I was just meeting my RA and floormates who quickly became people I can't imagine not seeing every day. Packing up my dorm seems like such a far-fetched idea because in only six days I will be staring at an empty wardrobe, empty drawers and empty walls that I have made like home for the past 10 months or so.
How is it already the end? Freshman year went in a blink of an eye. Making plans to move out and finals starting on Tuesday has made me reflect on the sort of year I have experienced. From quickly learning to have to live on my own to live to take responsibility for myself and not having to depend on my parents for every part of my life makes you have to grow up faster than you could ever think.
I want to thank my parents. My parents and I have had issues that I wouldn't have enough time in a day to explain, but I want to thank them. Thank you for the opportunity to come to a four-year school. Thank you for showing me that there is more to me than just what is on the surface. And thank you for the fights. Weird to be thankful for a fight (or several), right? But these fights and arguments and misconceptions have shown me that there is more to me, more to appreciate and more to learn from. Yes, once you turn 18 you think you know everything. Well, sorry to break it to you but you don't. Not even close. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
Parallel to that, I want to thank my friends. My friends from home and my friends I just met this year at school. My friends from home have given me the best memories that I could ask for. I want to thank them for showing me there are genuine people in this world. People crave for the friendships where you can be wild and go on adventures together, and then you also want in that same person (or group of people) to be able to deal with real life situations. My group of friends from home are those people. They are my people. They are family and my longtime friendships. We have been through trial and tribulations together and I couldn't make it through freshman year without them giving me that sense of support. They always know when I need to laugh when I start to stress out about school work or stupid situations I may get upset about.
And to my friends I met this year at Rowan. Thank you. For being people who have watched me develop and change, which is probably the biggest change I have made in my life. Thank you for being the people that I know are going through the same things I am and in the same situation I am in, and can relate to me as opposed to anyone else I could talk to it about. Thank you for being the people I can relate to, the people I can go out with on the weekends and equivalently go to the library with me and watch me be on the cusp of a mental breakdown. Coming into school, I never expected myself to become so close to a group of people who at first were complete strangers to me. These are people I will miss the minute I am home for summer break. Thank you. In what seems like the short amount of time we have met and been together, you have supplied me with memories I could never forget.
As I sit here in the library studying for finals week, I have this final wrap-up of my freshman year that made me grow more as a person than I ever expected. Thank you college. Thank you for making me realize that there is more to me as a person. Thank you for making me appreciate the little things. Thank you for making me Miss Central Jersey. And yes, it is a place. I live there. For that, it means it is real. Thank you, college, for making me miss my family and my friends whom I may have (slightly) taken advantage of. And I thank myself. As narcissistic as that sounds, I thank myself for adapting to the changes I was faced with it. I thank myself for the new me coming out of freshman year. If you think you will not change when you come into your freshman year of college, then remove that thought. You will walk out of your dorm in May not the same person you walked in as in August.
So, seniors in high school. As you are approaching graduation day saying goodbye to that one teacher who helped you in high school and that childhood friend you have been two peas in a pod with since you could remember, remember this: college is a learning experience. College is where you will come across people you never imagined of meeting. College is a place to grow independently without your mom or dad up your ass about it. College is where you will meet some of those long time friends. But most importantly college is for change, so be open-minded. Be welcoming of this change because college will make you learn some of the best and worst aspects of yourself. And it's only my freshman year with these words to share with you so, I can only imagine what sophomore year will bring for me.
