The transition from high school to college isn't an easy one, yet through this difficulty so many lessons are learned. During my freshman first semester at Wheaton College, I went through many ups and downs and quite frequently they happened in the same day. By the end of the semester, I had 14 key points I had learned:
1. Get rid of all expectations
Before heading to college, I participated in the mad rush of googling “College Advice”, “What I Wish My Freshman Self Knew”, and “What to Pack For College”. All of last year, I saw friends who were a year older than me head off to college and have the time of their lives. That is, according to social media. You see, there is this world of college, according to the internet. Everything we hear about what college is like, and every expectation we create, is built on other people’s experiences and the messages they send through words and pictures. These experiences may be true, but I can guarantee you they aren't the whole story.
2. Comparison does you no good
Along with the expectations, comparing yourself to others at your school, others on social media, or anything else you've heard about people’s experiences only hurts you. This may mean taking a break from social media for your first few weeks. Or maybe focusing on what you need instead of looking around and seeing how everyone else seems to have their life together. Don't judge yourself based on how you think this first semester should look. You have your own story to write and I can guarantee you it won't look like anyone else's.
3. There will always be work
If I wanted to work 24/7 on homework, I could. There will always be more you could do, more you should do, and more you would do if you had time. College is all about time management, meaning there is always something you could be doing. It’s about saying no to an extra event when you have work to do, but it’s also about taking breaks when you need them. It sounds silly, but sometimes you have to schedule breaks from work, otherwise you will find yourself so stressed out that you won’t know what to do.
4. Get involved
The country may not be dependent on you stepping up and getting involved in college, but it is so important to do so! Just as important as it is to do things alone, it is important to find a new support system, find new friends beyond your floor, and find a stress-relieving activity that fills some of your time. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, you will meet so many more people. Your floor is great, they will become close friends, but you will also want friends who are not on your floor.
5. Take the class for the professor
My favorite class this past semester was my Core 101 class (my freshman seminar). There were 32 sections offered of this course, which means at the beginning of the year I had 32 professors and topics to choose from. I chose the top 10 topics that sounded interesting to me, then I used ratemyprofessor.com to find out which professor corresponding with those topics had the highest score. I ended up taking a course with a professor I hadn't heard of but who had great ratings. It was the best decision I made all semester.
6. It's okay to do things alone
Eating alone, studying alone, walking alone, you name it. There will be times when your friends will have a different schedule and won't be able to do things with you. It’s all about a balance. Studying with my friends is one of my favorite things to do, but I hardly get any studying done. So focus when you have the opportunity. For example, don't be afraid to eat lunch alone and work on some homework, so that you can hang out with friends later. If you can confidently do things alone, you’re on your way to independence.
7. Take a reality check once a month
Take a step back, remind yourself of what’s important. Someone once told me, “If Jesus isn’t worried about it, you shouldn’t be worried about it.” Aka, you have nothing to worry about. It is so easy to be stressed and anxious about things that won’t matter in even 24 hours, so remind yourself of what really matters.
8. Journal at least once a month
This time of reflection is so important. You don’t have to write everything that has happened, just write some way God has moved through a recent situation, some way you have seen Him moving, or something you are really wrestling with. Every night, I quickly write down a few good things that happened through the day and some prayer requests. It has been great to look back on God’s little drops of goodness throughout my life as well as the way He has answered some prayers. I wish I had more time to write long journal entries, but I try at least once a month to write a page worth of reflection.
9. Mail is the best thing on Earth
Write your friends at other colleges, write your friends at your college, and share your mailing address on social media before you leave so people have it. You will want mail, it makes your whole week. Those 8-pack cards for $1 in the Target dollar section will be your best friend.
10. People don't know what they don't know
You bring in what is normal in your eyes, but that normal is so different from someone else’s. Keep an open mind when interacting with others and extend extra grace, even after you feel like you have gotten to know someone. Family structure, tragedies, routines and culture (even from different places around the US) affect the way someone does things. You might not know why they are doing something and good chances are they don’t know why you’re doing something. This is so true with roommates, and just as true with friends.
11. Extend grace to others, and most importantly to yourself.
As mentioned before, extend grace to others, and most importantly yourself. When you’re becoming friends with someone, you don’t have many shared experiences together. You haven’t grown up together, so you don’t really know each other or understand each other’s actions. Give someone the benefit of the doubt, and make an effort to get to know people so you can understand the reasons behind their actions. Also, give yourself grace. This means if you need to exit a situation that you aren’t comfortable with, a relationship you feel like is going in a wrong direction, or if you need a break, take it. It’s okay.
12. A smile goes miles
You’re profs will appreciate it, you’re classmates will appreciate it, you’re friends will appreciate it, and it will make you happier even if you don’t feel happy. When your first impression includes a great smile, people will want to get to know you.
13. If you mean it, say thank you
So many people around you your freshman year are doing behind the scene things to make your year the best it can be. These people frequently don't get recognized for their efforts. If your RA does something you appreciated, let them know through a note that you mail to them. If you enjoyed a professor's course, write them a letter to thank them. Expressing gratitude has been proven to improve your mood, so not only will it make the receiver's day, but it just might make your day better too.
14. God is sovereign
Ultimately, above this all, God is sovereign. He will take care of everything, and He will provide you with what you need.
These are my top takeaways from my freshman first semester! Just a reminder, these are my takeaways and I hope they help but everyone's experience is different :) It has been quite the adventure so far, and I can't wait for the rest!
