Going from high school to college is a huge change. You got here and that is worth celebrating. Take a deep breath and exhale all the negative thoughts. Relax for some time. You deserve it.
My first quarter at UCLA has been intense and amazing. Sometimes I think I am scrambling to catch up, not really reaching the place where I want to to go or who I want to be. But I've come to realize that it's okay. Some days are going to be great. You will feel the wind on your face and smile your way through the day. Other days seem as dark as a storm over the sea. You feel confused and submerged in the harsh waves and it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel isn't visible. But it is there. You just can't see it yet.
We are all afraid. We are scared of change. We cling to the friends we have known since high school. We refuse to come out of our comfort zone because it’s familiar here. I do too. I’m anxious about what the future has for me but at the same time, I’m thrilled. It is like the feeling you get when you go to a haunted house: you don’t know what’s going to happen but you are ready to try it out.
I don’t have the answers.The reason I am writing this is that I want to make sure you know you are not alone. We all feel it. We eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with people we just met and we don’t know if we are going to be close to them. That’s true. I don’t know if the brilliant and amazing friends I’ve made in my five weeks at UCLA will share their journey with me throughout the four years but that doesn't mean I will stop trying to make an effort to get to know them.
I’ve heard that the friends you make in your first quarter (or semester, if your university works that way) aren't the ones you stay close to by your sophomore year. I don’t know if that’s true. Am I scared about it? Yes. But if people are meant to be in your life, they will put in the effort. Similarly, if you want someone to stay in your life, you have to show them. It takes two to tango, after all.
And if you have heard that college is going to be the best years of your life? That kind of pressure to put on these four years is frankly too much. Is it going to be amazing and weird? Yes. But you don't need to feel that it needs to be the pinnacle of your life. There is going to be more to experience, more joys and heartaches, successes and failures. They are waiting for you. Enjoy your time in the present and don't make it a competition. College might be the best time of your life; it might not. We all have unique experiences and different mindsets, and in the same way, college is just another phase in our life.
That is a lot to process but all of it is true. College is going to be weird, bad, exciting, amazing, and overwhelming at the same time. You will find things about yourself you never knew and you will let go of things you thought were an integral part of you. It's going to be hard and scary. But there is one thing for sure, there is something spectacular waiting for you when you get out of your comfort zone and seize it.