Around this time of year, I wade through countless articles and lists detailing what a person needs to bring to college to ensure they have the best experience possible. While I agree that there are many physical tools necessary to succeed in college, I've found these spiritual tools to be far more helpful.
1. Patience
You will come across many, many things in college that try your patience, from the difficult people in your group project to the parking ticket on your car windshield (if you can even find parking in the first place). Before you react, take a breath and remember that it probably won't matter in five years. You are not always going to be in control, and that's OK.
2. Self-awareness
You can deal with any personality, no matter how different it might be from yours, if you are aware of your speech, your actions and your reactions. Condition your responses to be as rational and accepting as possible, and more people will feel safe talking to you and at ease working with you. Choose your battles wisely.
3. Understanding
You're going to come across a lot of diverse people in your lifetime, and a large number of them seem to be concentrated in your college years. Always remember that everyone has different battles. You can never know for certain what that person is going through, so allow them to be imperfect—within reason. Cooperate without compromising your morals.
4. Kindness
Many difficult people will cross your path in college. Some of them might be difficult unknowingly and others might be difficult intentionally. Regardless, the best way to combat them is with kindness. Not only will it throw them off guard, but it might convince them to follow suit. Even if they don't shape up, continue to show them kindness to make them question why.
5. Thankfulness
It's easy to fall into the broke college student mentality, but remember that you are fortunate to be in college. Many people don't get that opportunity. Yes, there will be hard times and you'll want to complain, but remember that it's all equipping you for your future career.
6. Generosity
Put others before yourself. It can be as simple as asking someone else how their day is going before gushing about yours. People appreciate little things like that, and sometimes they really need it. Spend a day focusing on other people and just see how it changes your perspective.
7. Calm
Not everything is going to go your way and you have to be ready to deal with that. Prepare yourself to react in the same (graceful) way regardless of what outcomes you face. Do not let your circumstance control your emotions. It's far easier said than done, but it's incredibly freeing.
8. Integrity
You've heard it your whole life—don't lie and don't cheat. It's easy to believe that it doesn't really matter after having it run into the ground, but it should matter. Cheating and lying only prevent you from learning as much as you can, either through the extra studying you should've done for that test or the hard lesson you'll learn by facing the truth.
9. Joy
You are responsible for your own happiness. No one else. If you wake up every morning and tell yourself that it's going to be a great day, it will be. Hardships might come your way, but if you mentally prepare yourself to be happy despite them, you will be.
10. Perseverance
You don't have anyone else making you get your work done, so you have to find it within yourself to do it. It will be hard at first, but making hard work a habit will make it seem easy.
11. Passion
Find something you love and you truly won't work a day in your life. That's not to say it will be easy, but if you love what you're doing, you'll enjoy it and you'll be drawn to it and you'll want to do it.
12. Self-control
Good study habits aren't going to just develop themselves. They take discipline to develop. Work hard now so you can play later—whether that means doing your homework Thursday so you can go out with your friends Friday night or putting your all into your freshman year so you can relax a bit sophomore year.
Also, don't eat that fourth piece of cake. Just don't.
13. Humility
You're not perfect, and that's OK. Own up to your mistakes. A lot of people go through high school afraid of failure, but you need to get over that fast because it's OK to fail and it's OK to be wrong. It's part of being human.
14. Forgiveness
Every person makes mistakes. Every single one. Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and hoping it hurts someone else.
15. Love
I saved this one for last because it is the most important. All virtues pour out of love. If you don't know what to do, just love and everything else will fall into place.
