Free…
Free.
A word that always felt impossible to understand.
For most of my life, I felt trapped—surrounded by walls taller than I could ever climb.
Trapped in my home.
Trapped in my emotions.
Trapped inside my own room.
The world kept spinning, but I never seemed to move with it.
Instead, I dreamed.
I dreamed of endless open spaces. Of the sound of hooves thundering across wide-open plains as a summer storm rolled over the horizon.
Like a memory I couldn’t quite reach…
A feeling.
A whisper.
Freedom.
Every morning I’d get up, walk into the bathroom, and stare at the girl in the mirror.
Who are you?
What do you want?
And then it would come back.
The green fields.
Wildflowers dancing in the wind.
A mountain stream rushing over smooth stones.
The scent of freshly cut hay mixed with dandelions.
For just a moment, I could almost feel it.
Then reality would pull me back.
I’m sitting in my room.
An open sketchbook lies on the bed.
Taylor Swift plays softly somewhere in the background.
I pick up my phone.
No messages.
I toss it back onto the bed.
“I hate it here.”
So I close my eyes.
Back to dreamland.
I’m standing in mist-covered mountains as the morning sun creeps over the tall birch trees. A faint silhouette appears in the distance.
I reach out my hand.
I can almost feel the warmth of her breath.
Then…
I wake up.
“Here I am again.”
Back in this bed.
Back inside these walls.
The smell of last night’s campfire still clings to my clothes, reminding me that somehow my dreams feel more real than my reality.
Because I didn’t know what freedom was.
I only knew what it felt like to be trapped.
Wake up.
Get out.
Run free.
Run free.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
To run free.
So I drift back into the place that keeps calling me.
The same mountains.
The same meadow.
The same feeling I could never explain.
Why do you keep calling me?
Then I see her again.
The dark silhouette takes form.
In the clearing stands a gray Mustang…
Almost the color of the Moon.
There you are.
Beautiful.
Strong.
Graceful.
Free.
I see you.
I feel you.
And then I wake up.
But this time…
I’m not dreaming anymore.
You’re here.
My Moon.
My mirror.
My freedom.
And I love you.
