Ladies,

Let's take a moment to discuss something we all do whether we like to admit it or not: the Frat Lap. You know what I'm talking about. Not the mandatory five minute visit you do on Thursday nights to each house before you reach your favorite. I'm talking about that middle of the day (or night) where you're "aimlessly" driving around campus and "just so happen" to drive right past fraternity row.

To the non-sorority girl eye you're just a normal person driving down the road, perhaps even taking a shortcut. No. You can't fool us. We know. We all know. There is no shortcut that magically runs right in front of frat row. You go out of your way for this crap.

Now, we don't do this because we're crazed stalkers (social media stalking doesn't count. Trust me I'm an expert). We do this for many reasons. All of which are totally sane (right?). Mainly, for our own protection. you can't just walk up into a frat house unarmed. You've got to gather all of your intel first. Who's there? Just boys? Girls? The guy you're kind of dating but not really (it's casual)? You need to know these things before approaching the battleground.

If it's daytime and you're going to visit your ahem friend, you have to know if other girls are there to judge you because you would definitely be judging them. During Greek Week, Frat Laps are vital. you need to know what the enemy is doing at all times.

This is also a useful tool for Thursday nights. It is necessary to know which house has the right amount of people. Not enough and you're like awkward sheep walking into the lion's den. Too many and there's no room to dance without bumping into a random girl (aka the enemy) or some gross, sweaty guy with beer breath breathing down your neck.

Also, the girl-to-guy ratio is very important. It determines your outfit for the night. If there are a lot of girls and you dress like it's Girl's Night Out, you're going to blend in. If the guy ratio is bigger, then you can afford to be a little bit more comfortable rather than looking like a hooker.

But let's face it, we girls are skittish creatures sometimes. We like to know what is going on at all times and be prepared for every situation. Frat Laps provide us with that security. So, girls, don't be ashamed (okay, be a little ashamed), but most of all Be Discreet. Don't roll down the road, top down, blaring 2 Chainz, and wearing sunglasses like that's going to hide your identity from the people that see your car Every. Week. Treat it like teh speical ops mission that it is, hide your letters, and be ready to speed away at the first sign of danger (detection, whatever).