Finals are here. It’s below freezing outside, you’ve almost overdosed on peppermint mochas, and now you must cram for multiple tests. During this time of year, there are usually four types of responses to the question, “Are you ready for finals?” These responses can tell you a lot about your friends.
1. “I’m dying”
This friend is convinced that they are dying. Their blood pressure is at an all-time high, their heart is beating over 100 times a minute, and you haven’t seen them without an open book since Thanksgiving. This dude/dudette is on their grind big time. They realize how much studying they have to do and they are on the verge of a major freak out. Thankfully, it will all end soon.
2. “I’m dead”
This friend is convinced they’re actually dead. They’ve been burnt out since Halloween and now they have to step it up even more. This is the friend you haven’t seen for a week because they are in the library curled up in the fetal position crying like it’s 1998. You can try to convince them that everything is going to be fine, but they can’t hear you—because they’re dead.
3. “When are finals?”
This friend is oblivious to the stress. They understand that there is a thing called finals and that they are approaching, but they aren’t the least bit worried. Maybe they have been here before, or maybe they are taking a bunch of entry level gen-eds. Either way, they need you to show them the finals schedule. How audacious.
4. “I’m just chilling”
The friend who responds in this way is usually in one of two categories. Either they are taking 9 hours of classes like basket weaving and “how to read time on an analog clock” or, they have straight D’s and are considering this semester a wash. They’ve been watching 16 hours of Netflix a day since Thanksgiving break and have decided to just try again next semester. Let this friend chill. Whether they make it to their finals is between them, God, and whoever is paying for their tuition.
If you’re dying, dead, questioning, or chilling, hopefully you’re surviving this finals week. Which of these four are you? Let me know in the comments!
