If you are a college senior, there’s a high chance that you have been asked the dreaded “so, what are your plans?” question so many times your head is spinning. I know mine is. It’s a question that makes most of us cringe, especially if those foreseen plans are still up in the air.

The problem with asking this question to college seniors is that it implies that we need to have a plan or that we are expected to have it all figured it by now. Millennials already have some of the highest stress levels compared to older generations, so if asking one less stressful question can lighten the load, I think it’s important to keep that in mind.

For the sake of the soon-to-be college graduates who do not have a plan, here are four questions for you to ask potential grads that will hopefully save them time and energy from explaining themselves and the future ahead of them.

How are you feeling about graduating?

This question shows you actually give a sh*t about a person’s well-being, and not just being nosy or making small talk. This is an incredibly exciting and overwhelming time for people. Framing a question like this leaves an open door for someone to express how they actually feel about this huge life change. And, if that person chooses to let you in on more details, they can.

Are you thinking of trying something new or sticking with your major?

Why assume that most graduates will continue pursuing their degree? A 2013 study found that among 2,134 workers surveyed, 47 percent of college graduates did not find a first job that was related to their college major. This question also lessens the pressure on graduates told to stick with one track or one focus, when sometimes people don’t. As long as you are happy doing what you are doing, keep on going.

Are you taking any time off after school?

Uh, yes please. And I’d also like a week vacation to the Caribbean, a full-body massage, an endless glass of Chardonnay, a personal chef and a nap once a day for the next three months.

Honestly though, graduates, there is no shame in moving back home or giving yourself time to decompress. Post-grad volunteer opportunities are wildly popular options and can give more flexibility to travel, visit family or friends and learn something new without being in a classroom.

What are you most excited about for post-grad life?

With the overwhelming number of options and possibilities available to college graduates, we could be excited about anything—including things that are not career related! Maybe getting a pet. Maybe moving in together with a partner(s). Maybe finally catching up with all the shows and movies college made us lose track of. Or maybe we're going somewhere new. So ask!

To those college seniors: Take a deep breath and don’t worry; we are all figuring it out, too.