A personal word: I have written and or (always both) voiced the thesis of this article to almost all of those I truly love and value. This would be my biggest "pet peeve". The reciprocation (and balance) of emotions, relationships, connections- all fail because of an acceptance of shallow communication from a collection of shallow generations (and is usually delivered electronically).
Here are some of the common substitutes for "I love you" that I hear way too often, and absolutely hate:
1. Love you
2. Love ya
These seem harmless and simple. "We all do it". So, here is the breakdown for "I love you". And why this phrase absolutely must be technically observed, intimately encountered and deliberately given.
Why Say "I":
Arguably and subjectively, “I” is the most imperative concept throughout all languages. It is an individual identity; a culmination of memories, talents, connections, inspirations, impressions and choices- completely unique to “you”, also the “I”. Without the “I”’s of the world, we would not have one. We would not have productivity, creativity, important mistakes or humor.
And, without the “I”, there is not love.
Love is not only completely individualized, but exists only with both a giver and receiver: an “I” and a “You”- both “I”s at one point, and both “you”s the next. The authenticity of one individual’s love transferred to another individual’s acceptance of love, is a completely unique process- and without the “I” in "I love you”- the process is cut absolutely in half and rendered fully inept. In "I love you", there are two "I"'s. If an acknowledgement of personal feelings are not made, then neither can the other "I" make them. So "you", becomes eliminated- and the only concept left is an aimless and alone "love".
“I love you” is pointless without the “I”. The “I” is what makes it special: it’s what makes “you”r heart flutter, it’s what makes “you” take a deep breath. The person behind the “I” has a great value and a deep connection with “you”. To neglect the “I” is to hurt the “You”. Without it, the “love” is shallow, hurtful, impersonal, and disappointing--and also, disrespectful to the identity “I” has become.
Life is irrelevant without the “I”’s.
Be Conscious of the “Love”
The English language has only one word for all types of love and it is used for all subjects. I love coffee. I love the color yellow. I love my best friend. I love my boyfriend. Love for an inanimate object, love for a concept, a sacrificial love, a romantic love…
This is an acknowledgement rather than something that could be changed; and with that, every over-saturated, half-felt, flippant use of “love”- outplays the value (or the value perceived) of a deep, true love. Theoretically, every individual should be offended that Pizza gets told “I love you”, more than themselves. And though a hypocritical offense, our culture has abused a once sacred, cautiously-given, authentic word- and watered it down to the level of a “like”. Now “love” has to be coupled with “so much” or “very very much” just to attempt for the “you” to recognize the true depth of your “I love you”, versus everyone else’s. We struggle in a culture limited by only ourselves. Technicalities are modernly teased, but they are what used to characterize language, and language characterizes who we are. Deep thought is laughed at, deep words are forgotten, and deep love has lost its meaning. The more we use “love” half-wittedly for a food group, a shoe or an electronic – the more “I”s are demeaned, questioning the “love” that they have heard one million times over in less than special occasions.
Do Not Reduce the “You”
Very similar to the “I”, there is also a necessity to say the “You”. Both are individuals, but the “you” is (at this time) on the receiving side. To reduce “you” to slang, is to reduce the “I” in “You” to a lesser portrayal of “you”s identity. It is disrespectful. To transition from “ya” to “you”- there is only a two letter difference. Written or typed, the transition takes less than a second.
If we keep one thing from being cheapened in this politically-correct, highly-offended, victim-ridden, intellectually-digressing (by choice, not by biology) world, let it be that we keep the purity of the "I" and the "I love you”. Simple, but powerful. Simple, but complex. Simple, but vital.
