From as early as I can remember I was always told to "forgive, and forget". For the longest time I thought that it was that simple; that when someone did you wrong, or you made a mistake, just like that you could be forgiven and the entire situation would just be forgotten. As I got older I realized it's not that simple. Forgiving is easy, its the forgetting that gets me.

Everyone makes mistakes--yet another preconceived idea we all have. It makes it so easy to forgive someone when it has been drilled into our minds since we were old enough to comprehend, that it is okay to mess up. How can we not forgive when everyone slips up at some point in time. For most people it's not easy to just remove someone from your life, we are forced to forgive them so we don't have to lose them. It happens in marriages, friendships and relationships. It happens all the time. Forgiving is such a simple concept. You simply accept their apology, no matter how bad they hurt you. You forgive your boyfriend when he doesn't call, you forgive your best friend when she doesn't invite you somewhere. When you care about someone you forgive them and that's what we've been taught since we were little.

Now here's where the forgetting comes in. We're never taught to forget, like how we're taught to forgive. In kindergarten we learn how to accept an apology, hug it out, and then move on. But they never tell you how you're supposed to erase it from your memory. Forgetting is the hard part of the concept. Because no matter how many times you say "it's fine" and try to move in, it will always be there in the back of your mind. Patiently waiting to be triggered and jump right to the front of your brain. The worst part is the memory doesn't fade, once it makes its way out of the black hole its been shoved into, you're able to remember every detail like it was just yesterday. Now this may have its cons, but I believe not forgetting can be a good thing.

You are always going to remember every minuscule detail of the time someone hurt you. Though it may be painful to bring back up, the pain is there to remind you how it felt, to ensure it doesn't happen again. Even better, remembering how these things made you feel will make you prevent others from feeling the same way. Remembering is what will make you a better and stronger version of yourself. How are we supposed to learn from our mistakes when we are supposed to forget them? Do not forget them. Learn from the mistakes others have made as well as your own. Forgive all you want, but don't you dare forget.