Forgiveness. That word alone can say a lot. The thing with forgiveness is that it is but isn't the easiest thing to do. With all the wrong that certain people have done to you when is actually the right time to forgive? I never thought that some people deserved forgiveness based on how they treated me. Especially towards my family and friends. It doesn't matter how angry or upset you are at someone, NEVER I repeat NEVER let someone talk trash about your loved ones. If there are certain things that they don't agree with, that's on a different conversation. However, if someone is constantly bashing your loved ones simply because they have a hatred towards you, that's when lines are crossed. Forgiveness is one thing that I was willing to seek when it comes to certain people. The reasons being, were all based on different situations. If the situation wasn't as severe, forgiveness came easy. Others not so much. With all that certain people have said towards me, it's easy to just brush it off and forget about it. But there were sometimes that I would try to forget about but had me feeling angry and hurt. I used to ask myself 'What did I do to deserve this person saying this about me?' Nowadays I look back at those moments and just laugh. I laugh because I felt that in the moment I was making too much of a big deal about it. By holding onto something for so long, you lose who you are and you continue to have all this anger in you that you don't need. There was an incident about two to three years ago where I was very angry at two people that kept talking behind me and my best friends back. Why? Simply for the reason to make themselves look good. But that wasn't all that I was angry at them for. I was angrier at the fact that my best friend was being talked about by other people that she has never even met. Why do people feel the need to ruin other people's lives I'll never understand? I try and try time again for it to not make me upset. I realize that it's exactly what they want. By reacting to someone's insecurities and lies, it makes them more powerful. By making that person more powerful it causes you to lose your own power. By feeding into what other people say it becomes more about them and less about what you should do.
Shortly after I've realized that the only way to be at peace is forgiveness. By forgiving all who have done wrong to you, you find finally get the closure you deserve. Sure is it better to be in front of the person face-to-face and get closure? Absolutely. However, when you feel that there should not be any type of confrontation you should just simply forgive in silence. Just tell yourself that you forgive any type of wrongs that the person ever did to you. Just realize that there is nothing you can change about it, but there is just no point in being frustrated and throwing all your frustrations out on them. It's pointless and childish. Children hold grudges and get upset. All thanks to the wise words of my older sister, I'm coming to grips with forgiveness more and more. Just not that easy. It doesn't mean that it'll be the end of it, it just means that I'll forgive but won't forget. One of the most important things about being a woman is that you have to find a place of forgiveness to find a sense of maturity. Will it be easy? No. But it's definitely a start. So for everyone that I was angry at, just know that just because I forgive doesn't mean that I'll forget. That also doesn't mean that I'm going to forgive that easy either.
