Forgiveness isn't something you do for somebody else; it's something you do for yourself. Forgiving people is accepting the fact that people make mistakes. Understanding that is an essential part in growing as a person.
Forgiving someone doesn't excuse what they've done or how they’ve treated you. It's not saying that whatever that person had done is OK, or that it wasn't a big deal. Forgiveness simply doesn't allow that action or those words to continue to hurt you. It's choosing healing over punishment. It's choosing to not let anger consume your thoughts and to stop the tears from flowing. It's such a simple concept but as always, it's easier said than done.
It's hard to forgive the person who broke your heart, or the friend that stabbed you in the back. It's hard to forgive the person that made you spend countless nights lying with your tear soaked pillow and the person who made good memories sour. But you're so much better off for it. Because your pillow will dry and more memories, sweeter memories, will be made. And just as hard as it is to forgive those people, is how much better you'll be for it. You'll be able to move on to bigger and better things.
Looking back, you'll be thankful you endured a hardship like that, you'll have learned to take that experience as a positive one. You'll have learned lessons about trust and about yourself. About who you are and what you deserve. Again, it's easy to say. But it's a whole other thing to actually follow through and truly forgive. Let yourself lift that weight from your own shoulders. When something truly hurts your soul, you have to allow yourself the chance to heal and to put those pieces of you back together.
Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got. Not everyone has the same moral values. Not everyone's as generous and thoughtful as you may be. They might not know how badly they hurt you, unable to acknowledge the damage they've done. And where does that leave you? Bitter and wallowing while they're unaware and living their lives. Your hurt and your bitterness doesn't make them feel guilty, it only keeps you from living your life. So forgive them, anyway. Forgive the apology you never got.
People make mistakes. Sometimes, they're intentional and hurtful; others are more innocent. Whichever they are, they're still mistakes. They are still choices an individual has made when considering their own future. Whether that future involves you or not, whether they hurt you or not. Sometimes, it's better to forgive and forget and other times you need to forgive and move on. It's important to know the difference. Either way, forgive them. Do yourself a favor and understand. Allow yourself a future, let yourself live.
