Time to be a little kinder to yourself

Forgiveness Is A Commitment, Not A Feeling

Time to be a little kinder to yourself

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When the spotlight is on forgiveness, people tend to think that it is an act given to or received by someone else. In most cases this is true. We give grace those who we have deemed to have wronged us and we accept amnesty from the malevolence we have caused others. I have come to realize that there is not much worse than having to forgive someone who does not want to be forgiven. Like they are not apologetic for their actions and see no wrong in their behavior despite the negative impact on you. I do believe that there are two sides to every story, however, right and wrong coexist simultaneously. Forgiving is actually incredibly self-centered and egotistically-motivated. We accept apologies as a buffer to give ourselves time and space to move on from the issue, yes, forgiving the other person benefits them, but the forgiver gains more out of the deal.

One thing that is skipped over when discussing the exchange of mercy is the relation of forgiveness within ourselves. I think that we are so experienced with giving others grace and accepting amnesty that we all forget about ourselves. We recognize that other people have character flaws and disfavored niches, but we can see right past the blemishes, through the tarnishes, over the imperfections, and right to the redeeming qualities. However, when we self-reflect, we cannot always see the saving graces of ourselves. We only see the glitches and the shortcomings which overwhelm us with frustration and angst. These feelings of self-disapprovement build up over time and causes us to carry a whole lot of baggage. The ironic part is that we think that there is something external that will fix the bad days and the insufficient qualities, however, we hold the tools to restore ourselves.

The whole saying with love that "you cannot love others if you have not loved yourself" is parallel to forgiveness. You cannot forgive others if you have not forgiven yourself. So go out and forgive. Do not forgive and forget, but forgive and learn. Forgive yourself for coming up short some days and forgive the world for not always being so kind to you. Because once you commit to the power of forgiveness, you become unstoppable.

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To My Best Friend Who Taught Me What True Friendship Is, I Can't Thank You Enough

"To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding."
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Dear Best Friend,

You have been a part of my life for quite some time now. You have seen my good, bad, and ugly sides and have stuck by my side through it all. I don't know if I could ever find the words to truly thank you for everything your friendship has given me, but I am definitely going to try.

Our lives have taken some twist and turn these past few years, but we have stayed strong through it all.

Thank you for judging me just the right amount.

Throughout our friendship, I have made some very questionable decisions. A lot of people would say "thanks for never judging me," but I feel like everyone needs a best friend who's going to tell them how it is, to tell them when they are about to make a bad decision or how to avoid something worse from happening. You have always told me how it is (even when I don't always want to hear it), but I know that I can come to you whenever I need someone to set me straight.

You're always down to do nothing with me.

I think that you are the one person that I can call up to hang out and do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. From the nights sitting in and playing card games to ordering Chinese food and watching an entire Netflix series while I dance around with the cat: I know that we could do anything, and nothing together and it would be fun.

But also, you're always down to get lit with me.

I swear one day we will be two old moms at a bar drinking vodka crans and laughing about the stupid shit our husbands and children do. You're always down to go out and have a good time. Even if everyone else we're with is miserable, we find a way to laugh at ourselves.

You are one of the few constant things in my life.

I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but you have stayed by my side through everything. I can't remember the last time we actually fought about anything, but even when we do we can't stay mad at each other for more than a day. I know we will be in each other's lives until we literally keel over.

I want you yo know that you're the strongest person I know.

You've dealt with things that not many people go through ever in their life. You have always been so mature, and you handle everything with grace. You inspire me every day with your goals and successes and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

Above all else, you deserve the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own mind and think that you deserve the things that happen to you, but please know that the only thing you deserve is happiness. Please settle for nothing short of that. It may take a bit to find your happiness, but I will be there every step of the way. You're a remarkable human being, and I want nothing but the best for you.

To the person who will hold your heart someday, please do not break it. To the person who may wrong you, you will regret it forever. To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding.

You, my best friend, future bridesmaid, godmother of my children, the person to bail me out of jail, the one who lets me cry on their couch for twelve hours,

I love you.

I will cherish our friendship forever. Thank you for being you.

Love always,

Your best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Adriana Ranieri

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Being The Last Friend To Turn 21 Isn't ALL Bad

All your friends have turned 21, but that is okay

Cassidy
Cassidy
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You may think being the last one out of your friend group to turn twenty-one is the worst thing in the world, but in all honesty, it doesn't have to be. One of the biggest perks is that everyone of your friends can go out to the bars with you on your birthday. All the people who turn twenty-one first have to wait for people to be able to go out with them, but you get to celebrate your birthday with all of your friends.

Another huge reason you should feel okay with being last to turn twenty-one is thinking about all the money you are saving. The bars are expensive. When you don't go to the bars you are saving so much money because an average bar drink is about seven dollars. This being said seven dollars multiple times a night, multiple nights a week really adds up, so you are going to have to budget your money better.

You don't have to be the one to buy alcohol for everyone else. Having a ton of people ask you to buy them alcohol must get annoying at a point, and if you're the youngest out of your friends, no one will be asking you to do liquor store runs for them because they can all go already for themselves.

The biggest reason is that you can enjoy being young. You should still continue to enjoy going to house parties and just being able to hang out with friends without having to go to the bars. Spend these months before you turn twenty-one just being able to enjoy life without feeling obligated to go out to the bars all the time. You have a great excuse when you don't want to drink on a weekday to just stay in. This being said it will be your turn to turn twenty-one soon.

Cassidy
Cassidy

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