I was going to write this article out of pure angst and fury, but I realized there's no point in that. I actually realized having pure angst and fury for any situation is useless.
I guess I could say I was overly dramatic about the recent situations I've encountered, but luckily I've learned valuable lessons.
It started backstage at my dance studios annual showcase. My team and I were waiting for the curtains to open, giddy with excitement.
Some of my teammates and I were talking about college. I told one of my teammates about the opportunity I got to explore a University through the honors program. It was something I was very proud of. But within seconds, another teammate enters the conversation with the audacity to explain "Honors colleges are a scam, they're only for the suicidal Asian kids".
I hope that she meant nothing by that stereotype, but that sentence was by far the most offensive thing ever said to me. I have a sister that was recently diagnosed with depression. I am Asian. I am looking at Universities for honors programs. And someone decides to say that to me?
I started thinking about it more, and tears flowed out of my eyes. I told the other girls on my team what happened and in ways, it started a whirlwind of drama throughout the dressing room.
The sadness later turned into pure anger.
Words of negativity rolled off my tounge and felt that the situation was turning me into a person I never wanted to be.
I thought that the next time I saw the girl, I would scream at her. Tell her she had no right. Bash on anything and everything she's ever said.
That's when the Lord came to me.
I realized that Jesus forgave the people that killed him, nailed him to a cross. If he could do that, then why couldn't I forgive someone that just blurted out something stupid?
So when she came up to me to apologize, I told her not to worry about it. I didn't want to ruin her senior year showcase and didn't want any negativity. That felt a lot easier than talking bad or yelling at her.
I learned two things from that day.
The first was about stereotypes. All throughout my life, I have never thought of myself as a minority. I am half white, but my Asian traits are more dominant in my appearance. I have been lucky enough to grow up in an environment where everyone is accepting, no matter what your race is. It made me oblivious.
That one sentence said to me destroyed my oblivion. But it was for the better. I realized that not everyone is accepting of all people and races. With that comes stereotypes and rude comments like the one I heard. I'll never understand why that is a concept considering that I couldn't help that I am the child of an Asian women.
Now I know that I cannot let those words get to me. I can't let dumb comments like that be the root to my sadness.
Nobody has the right to control the way you feel. You have to be in charge of your thoughts and evaluating things in a positive way, that will make you the happiest in the end.
I also realized that forgiveness may seem harder, but it the easier option and will make you happier in the end. At first, I wanted the girl to always regret saying that, but in the end I felt like I was in the wrong. I thought it was wrong to not forgive. And it would have been.
What I said about the Lord was true. He forgave the people that killed him, directly hated on him, told him he was nothing. If he could do that, why couldn't I? Not everything can be taken to heart, if you do, you won't be happy.
The Lord gave me strength to forgive. I will always thank him for that.
In the end, that day could have played out in two ways. I could have continued to make more drama throughout my showcase, yelled at the girl like I originally planned, and ruined her final days dancing. I didn't and I'm so proud of that. I forgave and learned two, life-changing lessons on the way. I hope you would choose the same option in the end too.
