Parents

Forgive Your Parents

They tried their best.

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Oftentimes, I find myself looking back at the time I spent hating my parents, and I wish I could take it all back. It isn't a unique experience to have a rough relationship with your parents at some point in your life, but it certainly is not something I am proud of.

Somewhere between my childhood and young adult years, the love and adoration I once had for my parents turned into blind, unapologetic hatred, and it is tough to pinpoint exactly when...or why.

Did I just decide it wasn't cool to love my parents anymore? Or did the presence of free thought cause me to despise everything they said and did? It's hard to say.

The insides of my bedroom walls turned into prison bars that I single-handedly put myself behind, and only I hold the key to escape. But instead, I remained trapped behind my own perspective with no desire to free myself.

I stubbornly refused any offering of reconciliation and decided things would always be this way.

Not every day was a bad day, but I absolutely refused to allow myself to believe my life could be a good one with the parents God dealt me. I was a prisoner, trapped with no way out.

After years of emotionally and physically distancing myself from my parents, I realize the damage that has been dealt with. I now see them as perfectly flawed people who did everything they could to provide me with the best life they could possibly give, and I have freed myself from my tunnel-vision with one simple concept: forgiveness.

I forgive them for the mistakes they made when they truly had no idea what to do. I forgive them for not being able to read my mind and give me exactly what I needed. I forgive them for fights and the miscommunication and the occasional lapse in judgment.

And now I want to thank them.

I want to thank them for raising me with morality and empathy and intelligence. I want to thank them for continuing to provide for me past what is expected of them. I want to thank them for the sacrifices they have made and the love they continue to give every single day. And I want to thank God for giving me the best parents in this universe.

I forgive myself for not realizing how lucky I was to have such uniquely wonderful parents, and I am thankful for the time I still have to make up for it.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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My Parents Deserve To Be Celebrated 365 Days A Year, Not Just On Mother's And Father's Day

One day a year is not enough to express how thankful I am for my mother and father. I don't think 365 days will do it justice, either.

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Mother's and Father's Day. Days of the year where everyone is expected to focus all their attention on the mothers and fathers of the world. They do so many things that are never recognized, just expected of them. It's their duties as mothers and fathers to take care of, protect, love, and do all means necessary to make their children happy. That's what they signed up for, right?

We use Mother's and Father's Day to step back and thank our parents for all the little things they've done over the past years. For 24 hours, we end up showering them in attention, gifts, and love. It's our turn to spoil them back.

After those 24 hours are gone though, what happens? All the sappy social media posts fade away. The handwritten cards get tossed out. The festivities end. Everyone goes back to their daily routines.

I always found it funny how on these days every year, everyone in the world is all hands on deck, spoiling our moms and dads in any way possible. My siblings and I would always get our parents cards, small gifts, and maybe have a special dinner together that day.

As I grow older, I'm starting to understand how silly a day like Mother's and Father's Day really is. My parents are the greatest superheroes I have ever met, so they should be celebrated, appreciated, and taken care of not just one day, but every day of the damn year.

My parents have raised me from day one, supporting me through all the highs and lows. They picked me up when I fell down and scraped my knee on the concrete. They dealt with me through every temper tantrum and angry episode. They didn't kill me during my teenage years (I was the biggest brat).

They've spent God only knows how much money to support me in all of my endeavors. They sat and let me cry on their shoulders when I got my heart broken for the first time. They continue to pick up the phone in the late hours of the night when I'm having a panic attack about something silly.

They stood by me as I graduated from middle school, high school, and college. They'll continue to support me as I move out and on, getting married and having a family of my own.

My mom and dad have been there for me 365 days a year, every year. I think it's my turn to be there for them 365 days a year, not just on Mother's and Father's Day.

I know it's hard to do so right now as I am at an unstable time of my life, but one day I will be able to give back everything they have given to me, and more.

So, to my wonderful parents, my role models, and my heroes:

Thank you for taking care of me, protecting me, loving me, and doing all things necessary to make me happy. I don't think any amount of words, hugs, or kisses will be able to truly show how blessed I am to have parents like you. I love you both so much, and I promise to celebrate you every day, 365 days a year.

You mean the world to me, and I hope you know that you've done an amazing job raising my siblings and I. I hope to one day be half the parent that you are. Thank you for being you. I love you so much.

Happy Mother's and Father's Day to all the parents out there. Although those holidays are absolutely your days to shine, I hope you get showered in love 365 days a year, too.

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