Forgive, But Don't Forget

It has been said that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Personally, I would say this is a fair assessment. Often, we begrudge those who wrong us instead of doing the noble thing and granting clemency to the offending party. It is not easy to move on when you have been dealt an unjust hand in life. Intrinsically, we humans thirst for justice. We believe that if we do right by others, they should do right by us. Unfortunately, the issue of forgiveness isn't this clear cut. Like most aspects of life, it is oh-so messy. In consideration of this, it would certainly be accurate to say that forgiveness is a trait only exhibited by the lionhearted. However, it is also my experience that forgiveness is for the naïve.

It is too often that the most forgiving of souls find themselves wronged over and over again because they are too quick to try and move on from the pain caused by others. These individuals adopt the foolhardy belief that they will never be hurt by the perpetrator again just because they have received an apology. Yes, folks, the oft-overused word “sorry” seems to have that powerful a sway over people. Unfortunately, things rarely ever turn out peachy keen in these sorts of situations. These wronged individuals trap themselves in a vicious cycle fueled by constant disappointment. People continue to hurt them because they are not willing to hold their offenders responsible. By letting go of something too easily, you create a precedent that suggests that the offender’s behavior is OK when, in actuality, it is light years away from being all right.

Now, I don't mean to suggest that people should go around playing the role of Emily Thorne and enacting insane vengeance-fueled plans against those who have done them wrong. What I am suggesting, however, is that in the endeavor of forgiving others, you do not lose hindsight of what has been done to you. In other words, forgive, but don’t forget. Following this advice will allow you to remain vigilant in the event that perpetrators attempt to wrong you once more. As such behavior needs to be nipped in the bud, it is important to be cognizant of the ways in which you have been wronged. Simply put, you need to be smart about the choices you make, about the people you allow into your life, and about the things you allow them to do to you. Lest you want to be labelled a walking example of the phrase “Fool me twice, shame on me,” you will heed my warning and realize that only fools rush into forgiveness.