We dwell too much on pains from the past. There's always going to be people who pop up in our lives who do things that disappoint us, hurt us, or even break us. One thing we can all agree on is that human beings can be the worst creatures. However, what is the point of holding onto pain caused by actions of others that we can't control? I've thought about this a lot lately.
You can't control what other people do. Other people will do things that you would never imagine doing, simply because their mindsets are different or have ulterior motives. You're right, it's not fair, and it's not right to do to someone either. But you can't change what they've done. What you can change is how you react to it.
There is one simple lesson about forgiveness that I have learned in my life, and it's this: the pain you feel as a result of someone's actions only reaches the extent that you let it. In simpler terms, you can either let it make you or break you. All your life, you're going to come across people who will hurt you. Instead of letting it tear you apart, and carrying this heavy pain on your shoulders, you have to learn to cope with it, and forgive. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to let them back in your life. It just means you've accepted what they've done, and you're letting go of it. Let me tell you, letting go of old pain is the best thing you can do for yourself.
I can't tell you why they did what they did, because every scenario is different. Sometimes there's underlying reasons that we will never know or understand, and other times it's because some people are just plain cruel. What someone else does does not shine reflection on you as a person. That's on them. Be the better, stronger person, and let it go.
This isn't just applicable to others, but yourself as well. We are humans, and we are most definitely imperfect. We all make mistakes, some that are relatively minor, and some that change our lives entirely. But once an action has been performed, unfortunately, we cannot take it back. So all that's left is to forgive yourself. When you've forgiven yourself for a mistake, let it become a binding promise that you will never make that same mistake again. Learn from it, and move on. Beating yourself up for it is useless and does nothing but make the pain worse and more intense. Be free from your past, because each day is a door to a new future.
With 2017 rapidly approaching, leave all the pains and heartaches of yesterday behind. Forgive others, forgive yourself, and set yourself free. Life already is an epic uphill battle, so don't make it harder than it needs to be. Forgiving and letting go is a hell of a lot easier than holding onto to something that you don't need to.
"When you haven't forgiven those you hurt you, you turn back against the future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward" -Tyler Perry
