You try to make it to church every week but you have conflicts, you have homework and you accidentally have to go get ice cream during that time. You have a million things on your mind. You try to keep up with the faith connection you had in high school, but it’s just so different in a crazy college atmosphere. You want to remember how much Kairos used to mean to you, but you’re afraid you can’t anymore.
After you went on Kairos, you were confident that you would never forget what it meant to live the fourth. You would never forget that you never know another person’s story. You would never forget that you have a support system for as long as you need them. You would never forget to love yourself every day.
But here we are. You forgot. And I did too.
Today I was going through a drawer and found my Kairos cross buried at the bottom. I haven’t worn it for probably a year and half, and it threw me off that I didn’t really care about it for that long.
Finding my cross made me realize that I’ve sort of forgotten how to live the fourth. I don’t put my love into action when I complain so much about things that really don’t matter, or when I wish I looked different because I don’t like the way I am sometimes. Yes, Kairos was just a retreat we went on years ago and people are probably like, "Why are you not over it?" But living graciously and lovingly and fully isn’t something people should ever get over.
So what should you do about it? How do you remember?
Read some letters.
Listen to all those songs you used to love.
Call that one person and see how they’re doing.
Stop and look at the sky every once in a while.
Realize that people are on your side.
Surprise your best friend.
Appreciate a really good cup of coffee.
Read an actual book.
Text your mom more funny pics.
Talk to your siblings more, because they’re the only ones who’ll know you for your entire life.
Say a silent "thank you" the next time you’re driving in the car, blaring music with the people who make you smile the most.
Kairos showed us that every single person has that thing that makes their life suck a little. Or a lot. But it also made us see how completely fine it is to be who we are, where we are.
Today in my cluttered drawer I stumbled upon a well-needed reminder that it’s okay to doubt. It feels good to cry. It’s scary but so important to trust. And it’s beautiful to live.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, then go do that. Because what the world needs is people that have come alive.” --Howard Thurman
