First love. I bet a face immediately pops into your head. In fact, I bet your mind is flooding with memories of that relationship. In our society, we tend to put a lot of emphasis on firsts. Moments like our first date, first kiss, first nervous “I love you," are all filed away in a special part of our hearts. However, these moments, unless we marry our first love, eventually lead to our first heartbreak. Our first, “I hate yous,” slammed doors, and unforgiven “I'm sorry's.”

It’s the first time we feel the ground ripped from under our feet and we are forced to figure out how to get back up on our own. We end up hardened and guarded. We put up an infinite amount of walls in order to protect us from feeling this desolate again. Our first love may receive all the credit for introducing us to love. But, our first love is the love that introduces us to loss as well. It’s the boy who comes around next who really teaches us what love is.

Freshman year of college everyone is lost. The challenge of attempting to find out who you are within a sea of strangers seems daunting. There is no such thing as a comfort zone. Everything is new and different. Now, I’m not saying you need a girlfriend or boyfriend in order to be happy but it is nice to have someone who “chooses” you. It feels safe to be able to have a partner in the chaos. We create comfort zones within constants we discover during so much change. At the end of the day, we all love having someone we can claim solely as our own.

For me, it was Halloween night when a boy complimented my eyes. Of course, my eyes did roll at the cliched nature of the line, but they also gained a new perspective. You’ve fallen in love once; that doesn’t mean it can’t happen again. This next guy may not take you on a whirlwind romance. He may not be anything like your first love. In fact, this spark may pale in comparison. But it will lead to the realization that your first love will not be your last love. That there are, as the saying goes, “plenty of fish in the sea.”

Our first heartbreak typically leaves us in pieces. It’s the realization that the ability to love is far more important than the possession of a significant other. Losing love does not mean we lose the ability to find love again. It’s this second boy who comes around that makes you realize this power. New laughs, new memories and even new fights will prove that your first relationship did not define or destroy you.

These second loves are the ones who teach you your broken pieces can be glued back together. After all, aren’t beautiful mosaics made of broken glass anyway? Our second romances are the ones that force us to reopen your heart and trust that something as great as love can and will happen to us more than once in a lifetime. This next boy will not be your savior, rather just a catalyst to help you get back on your feet. They will pick you up, brush off the dust on your shoulders and fling you back into life.

So here’s a thank you to the boys who taught us that it’s OK to fall into heartbreak because we will recover and we will fall in love again.