We met in elementary school and immediately hit it off. Instant friends. When we got to junior high we grew apart a bit, but eventually found our way back. It was like we were never separated. I didn’t think my life would feel right without you in it. Freshman year, we went on our first of many trips together. Then sophomore year came along. We went to our first homecoming together. Got all dolled up and took tons of pictures to cherish 20 years from then because we both knew we’d be friends forever. School dances were just one of the things throughout high school that we always did together.

We shared thousands of inside jokes. Jokes that I still laugh at today. We were inseparable. Our club project during our senior year made it to nationals...in California! Another trip we will always remember. We've shared so many unforgettable memories.

We graduated from high school with college approaching quickly. After individually deciding on where to go on to school, we both happened to decide on the school in our hometown. Then, we decided to room together! We were so excited. Summer went fast and fall came around and we began our freshman year of college. We decorated our dorm room and we were, literally, “best friend goals”. When we were apart for a weekend, we always had to shoot a text saying, "miss you!". On our individual trips, we always came back with a gift for each other. We were so close. What could possibly change that?

Then everything started to change… I noticed you change personally. Change is natural of course, but you changed into someone I didn't like. You changed into someone mean. Over the course of a couple of months, I noticed us drifting apart. What was I doing wrong, why didn't you want to be my friend anymore, why am I losing my best friend? I asked these questions for months.

You were spending all your time supporting your boyfriend who couldn't support himself and all we seemed to talk about is your frustration with that. You started lying, started doing drugs, and started drinking every weekend, among other things. I slowly realized the changes that were happening in your life; I slowly realized YOU changing. I understand that I had a lot of my own issues in my life and many things you didn’t always like that I did. But you always assured me, I was your BEST FRIEND and you supported me 100%, despite your opinions. I believed you. I trusted you more than anyone else.

It started with small lies that led to more and bigger lies to cover up your dishonesty. When I confronted you, you apologized to me. You were hurting because of your breakup, I was there for you. I forgave you for the lies because you were my best friend and you needed me. I would always be there... so I thought. Until a few days later when I found out you took my mail from my mailbox, read it, and burned it. It wasn't just a simple cell phone bill or junk mail that I was receiving, it was a letter from someone you disliked, but I cared for very much. Sure, you had every reason to not like this person, but for you to know how I felt, and to take that away from me, made me fall apart. I was broken.

For weeks after, you knew you did this. You KNEW and acted like everything was fine; it was like you did nothing wrong. Like we were still the definition of “best friend goals”. With everything adding up, and this to top it off, I couldn't do it. I made sure you knew that I could not be your friend anymore. You moved out of our dorm and we haven't talked since.

Sometimes I miss our late-night food runs and our deep talks. Other times, I feel like it was all time wasted for someone who didn't truly appreciate my friendship.

Even though I will never forget this, I want you to know that despite not being given an apology, I have forgiven you. We've gone our separate ways, and we have made new friends. No one can replace the memories we have together, but I don’t want to make any new memories with you, and that's okay.

I'm okay. Are you? I hope you find your way in life.

After talking to people about what happened, I realized that our whole friendship was toxic. You always put me down. Always made me feel like I couldn't do anything right. I believed it after a while. My body was too small, in your words. My butt and my boobs weren't as big as yours and they were too small for anyone to find attractive. I thought to myself, "she's just being honest, she’s my best friend, therefore what she's saying is okay". It wasn't. It hurt. I wasn't worth the truth or the slightest bit of your honesty. Why is that? That is what hurt the most.

What happened that made you become so cold? What changed in your life that made you become so mean? What caused you be so heartless to me?

I hope you never do to anyone else what you did to me. No one deserves that pain, especially from someone who they thought was their soul sister, their best friend, their other half... Shame on you for the decisions you've made. I hope you're happy because now, I am. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I thought you were my forever best friend but I saw you change into something a friend was not supposed to be. I am strong and had to fight to not get drug down with you. I had to let you go.

After everything though, I wish you the best. Good luck with your dreams. Good luck with your future.

But, goodbye.