Supposedly, the greatest equalizer in life is death. I’d like to think that something less morbid would be the deciding factor in determining everyone’s fate in life, but supposedly, it is death. Obviously, the greatest imbalance in life is everything that leads up to death. Funny, right? The things that we assume will determine our “fate” actually all lead to the exact same outcome.
It is not to say, however, that all of that stuff that happens in between the two most important events in your life is for nothing. When I think about questioning regret and its necessary presence in life regarding acceptance of the past, I begin to raise awareness of a different, yet related, concept: forgiveness.
What about forgiveness? Like I mentioned, everything that happens in between life and death matters to some degree. And sometimes, those actions and their consequences will touch others close by, and at this point, the weight of regret becomes that much more intense. Have you ever truly considered the meaning of how regret extends itself onto the people around us, or ourselves, when another ego, heart, and mind are in the equation? In terms of emotional output, we become that much more serious and substantially motivated to produce some sort of result because, after all, life is too short to not want some component of resolution. I think when we look for an outlet, a resource, or place of solace, and it does not come from nowhere. When we forgive, we attempt to release some of that pressure, through whatever means necessary, not only for the other party, but also for ourselves.
Forgiveness, and all of its quirks, disassembles a type of personal shield, which is our regret. When we rationalize forgiveness, it's almost as if we are taking down parts of a brick wall. To exonerate oneself – or other people – is a slow procession. It may appear to be time and cost effective to simply take a large sledge hammer to the brick, but eventually, our arms will get tired of swinging such a heavy instrument. Instead, maybe regret should be chiseled at to slowly give way to forgiveness. And maybe that regret can even be reshaped in to a rendition of Michelangelo’s David. But make no mistake, the process of regret and forgiveness are not the same. They are not interchangeable, but they can still both produce something that makes sense.
Regret may slowly fade with the eventual crumbling of each brick, but forgiveness does not follow any singular pattern. The process of forgiveness is either slower or faster, more or less powerful. The emotions associated with regret and those with forgiveness do not play out in similar manners. In our minds, these processes seemingly appear synced to one another, but they are independent. Forgiveness does not just occur once regret has had its turn. Regret can eventually fade away, but forgiveness is something that lasts forever. Forgiveness does not unfold itself in front of our eyes as we proceed in letting go of our regrets. The essence of independence that forgiveness possesses as a process lies in the notion that we face regret and forgiveness as separate yet consecutive occurrences, while forgiveness has no birth and death. It lives on and continues to unfold before us as we enrich our lives through the types of interpersonal experiences regret may offer.
Supposedly, the greatest imbalance in life is everything that leads up to death. Funny, right? The things that we assume will determine our “fate” actually all lead to the exact same outcome. And supposedly, the things that we do actually mean something in regards to our ability to live purposefully, despite our shared fate. But what about the greatest equalizer? Death is one answer for sure, but I'd like to think that there is something less morbid that we can grasp and believe in. Maybe the greatest equalizer in life is forgiveness. Interesting, right? A process, an ongoing act, and our most immediate salvation is actually something that we can experience above ground.
