Hopelessness: having no expectation of good or success, despairing; not susceptible to remedy or cure; incapable of redemption or improvement; giving no ground for hope, desperate; incapable of solution, management, or accomplishment~ impossible.
I am all too familiar with this feeling. I am all too familiar with making a decision or saying things I do not mean. I am all too familiar with looking around, confused in my own head about episodes and chapters in my life, nauseated and despairing. Hopelessness is common for me and unfortunately it is all too common for so many other people just like me. Hopelessness has a way of knocking you down, dragging you across the dirt and spitting on your dignity without apologizing for it.
I was always taught growing up in Church and Sunday School that "For when you are hopeless, run to Jesus." For a long time I had trouble with this, and still do have trouble with this, because I felt it was hard to talk to Him or that Jesus could possibly understand what I am feeling. I longed for an answer, A way to hear Jesus talking to me and telling me "Dear child you will be okay."
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
I don't want to throw my faith on you, but I will give you the hope that Jesus Christ has given me. It is ironic actually, as I go to a Christian University, we are expected to attend a certain amount of chapel hours, and a song played the words I needed to hear this morning:
"I am guilty
Ashamed of what I've done, what I've become
These hands are dirty
I dare not lift them up to the Holy one."
This is "How Can It Be." by Lauren Daigle.
This was ironic to me because I realize even in my moments of despair and complete chaos and total hopelessness, Jesus always has a way of showing up and laughing as to say "You really thought I would leave you?"
"Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me." Micah 7:8
The bible says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
I am thankful when looking around at my life, seeing choices I am ashamed of and seeing mistakes that I have made, knowing that no matter what, Jesus Christ is there and active in our lives to forgive and help us through our personal crisis' We cannot forget to forgive ourselves. Forgive yourself. I forget sometimes because I get so caught up in my life and the events in my life that I make more of a priority than Jesus. When I feel like I am doing nothing but losing in life, I look up on my wall at a letter my College Professor wrote me. Words that he had been told my the Lord Himself. Words I have been longing to hear for years upon years.
As a living example of someone who has made her fair share of mistakes and has had her fair share of being hopeless as a daily struggle, no matter your feelings about Jesus or your opinion on your religious choices, know that there is someone there, There is always someone to talk to. There is always someone to bring you our of the hopeless rut and always someone to give you hope. There is forgiveness and redemption and there is Jesus. For those who are hopeless, there is Jesus.
