For The Girl Who Constantly Feels Left Out

For The Girl Who Constantly Feels Left Out

I’m typically the last person to be informed of plans, if informed of them at all, unless I create them myself.
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I’ve always been the girl that never had a solid group of friends. Sure, I’ve found friend groups that I’ve somewhat fit in with and I’ve bounced between a few of them for years, however, each time I am pushed away and left on my own. I’ve never been the girl that has a specific group of friends that she belongs with and spends lots of time with. Often, when I’m walking down the sidewalk with friends I’ve been pushed to the back of the group and been forced to walk alone. I’m typically the last person to be informed of plans, if informed of them at all, unless I create them myself. When I am invited, it usually feels like a pity invite and I feel guilty accepting. My phone does not receive any messages unless I make sure to send one first, and even then I rarely receive a response. Somehow, I’m always left out of the conversations or forgotten about.

The feeling of loneliness often haunts me as I long for these friendships that others have been so blessed with. No, I’m not saying that I don’t have friends that I love dearly, because I do and I’m very lucky to have them in my life. However, I just sometimes wonder what it would be like to have the kinds of friendships that others have. To have people to hang out with whenever I please. To have a group of people to lean on no matter the circumstances. I know that it may be selfish of me to not consider what I have enough, it’s just awful to constantly feel like you don’t belong. I do believe, however, that I have been made stronger because of this. Bouncing around from friend group to friend group has taught me to keep my guard up because to some people, you are more disposable than you may believe.

Being left out has taught me to keep my secrets close to home as you never know what others are saying behind your back. And last but not least, I have learned to appreciate and cherish that few friends that have stuck by my side for years, as they have proven to be loyal and kind-hearted. While my self-esteem has been depleting for years due to this issue, I have grown to understand people better. I have grown to understand myself better. I have learned that while I may wish for these friendships, I can survive without them. I have also learned that I cannot settle for just any friend group but I must wait for the right one because one day it WILL come and I will stop feeling left out and forgotten. One day, all of this waiting will have been well worth it. I can only hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 A.M. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest,

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old doom room is now filled with two freshman trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Begin Again: Ode To Dear Odyssey

A new future for us all.
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On a tumultuous path, I stumbled upon a new cave where the light and ray

of sunshine came upon me.

I never realized there was a new beginning, however the old one still lit fire.

In this parchment of grey skies, I found the peace to my own solidarity and strife.

As I begin and embark on a path that creates austerity and sincerity, I begin to unravel

the streams of unconsciousness.

Thus, we all shall write those rules of our happiness down in thin air and plaster it

on my new life.

With mistakes and pitfalls, comes joy and wondrous feelings of momentous feelings

of a new adventure.

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