For The Girl Who Constantly Feels Left Out

For The Girl Who Constantly Feels Left Out

I’m typically the last person to be informed of plans, if informed of them at all, unless I create them myself.
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I’ve always been the girl that never had a solid group of friends. Sure, I’ve found friend groups that I’ve somewhat fit in with and I’ve bounced between a few of them for years, however, each time I am pushed away and left on my own. I’ve never been the girl that has a specific group of friends that she belongs with and spends lots of time with. Often, when I’m walking down the sidewalk with friends I’ve been pushed to the back of the group and been forced to walk alone. I’m typically the last person to be informed of plans, if informed of them at all, unless I create them myself. When I am invited, it usually feels like a pity invite and I feel guilty accepting. My phone does not receive any messages unless I make sure to send one first, and even then I rarely receive a response. Somehow, I’m always left out of the conversations or forgotten about.

The feeling of loneliness often haunts me as I long for these friendships that others have been so blessed with. No, I’m not saying that I don’t have friends that I love dearly, because I do and I’m very lucky to have them in my life. However, I just sometimes wonder what it would be like to have the kinds of friendships that others have. To have people to hang out with whenever I please. To have a group of people to lean on no matter the circumstances. I know that it may be selfish of me to not consider what I have enough, it’s just awful to constantly feel like you don’t belong. I do believe, however, that I have been made stronger because of this. Bouncing around from friend group to friend group has taught me to keep my guard up because to some people, you are more disposable than you may believe.

Being left out has taught me to keep my secrets close to home as you never know what others are saying behind your back. And last but not least, I have learned to appreciate and cherish that few friends that have stuck by my side for years, as they have proven to be loyal and kind-hearted. While my self-esteem has been depleting for years due to this issue, I have grown to understand people better. I have grown to understand myself better. I have learned that while I may wish for these friendships, I can survive without them. I have also learned that I cannot settle for just any friend group but I must wait for the right one because one day it WILL come and I will stop feeling left out and forgotten. One day, all of this waiting will have been well worth it. I can only hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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50 One-Liners College Girls Swap With Their Roomies As Much As They Swap Clothes

"What would I do without you guys???"
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1. "Can I wear your shirt out tonight?"

2. "Does my hair look greasy?"

3. "We should probably clean tomorrow..."

4. "What should I caption this??"

5. "Is it bad if I text ____ first??"

6. "Should we order pizza?"

7. *Roommate tells an entire story* "Wait, what?"

8. "How is it already 3 AM?"

9. "I need a drink."

10. "McDonalds? McDonalds."

11. "GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED."

12. "Okay like, for real, I need to study."

13. "Why is there so much hair on our floor?"

14. "I think I'm broke."

15. "What do I respond to this?"

16. "Let's have a movie night."

17. "Why are we so weird?"

18. "Do you think people will notice if I wear this 2 days in a row?"

19. "That guy is so stupid."

20. "Do I look fat in this?"

21. "Can I borrow your phone charger?

22. "Wanna go to the lib tonight?"

23. "OK, we really need to go to the gym soon."

24. "I kinda want some taco bell."

25. "Let's go out tonight."

26. "I wonder what other people on this floor think of us."

27. "Let's go to the mall."

28. "Can I use your straightener?"

29. "I need coffee."

30. "I'm bored, come back to the room."

31. "Should we go home this weekend?"

32. "We should probably do laundry soon."

33. "Can you see through these pants?"

34. "Sometimes I feel like our room is a frat house..."

35. "Guys I swear I don't like him anymore."

36."Can I borrow a pencil?"

37. "I need to get my life together...."

38. "So who's buying the Uber tonight?"

39. "Let's walk to class together."

40. "Are we really pulling an all-nighter tonight?"

41. "Who's taking out the trash?"

42. "What happened last night?"

43. "Can you help me do my hair?"

44. "What should I wear tonight?"

45. "You're not allowed to talk to him tonight."

46. "OMG, my phone is at 1 percent."

47. "Should we skip class?"

48. "What should we be for Halloween?"

49. "I love our room."

50. "What would I do without you guys???"

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Gabaldon

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We're All Just Growing Up

We're all going on our separate paths, but we're growing nonetheless.

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Honestly, its still weird to see everyone I grew up with and went to school with, just going forward in their lives. No, I'm not hating and wanting them to stay stuck. It's nothing like that. It's more amazement than anything else.

When you're a kid, you're always talking about what you want to be when you're an adult. You talk about the life you want to live and the things you want to do and accomplish. So when you're getting closer to the age of adulthood, you get cold feet. At least I do. Just a tiny bit.

It's more so because of where I'm at in my journey and the current path that I'm on. My friends and I may be there beside each other along the way, but that doesn't mean our paths have the same obstacles and ending.

For me, I'm still in college. I'm in the process of doing research and searching for grad schools. I'm looking for schools that have the program I desire and to see if some schools have Ph.D. programs that I can go straight into and earn my Master's along the way.

I have people I graduated with who are in college still, but I don't know their goals post-graduation. I have friends who are working towards their career all while starting their own families (I'm so proud of y'all). I enjoy seeing how everyone has started to come into their own. We are trying to do the best we can with the tools we were given plus what we have to learn on our own.

Also, sometimes I feel left behind when I see that some of my friends are getting married and starting their lives. I just feel as if I'm not where I'm supposed to be and it honestly makes me question myself along with my goals. Like, am I not doing enough? Am I'm just moving to slow or am I on my right path, going the correct speed?

Then I realize that I can't compare my journey with everyone else's. I have my own path that I need to focus on so that I can get to wherever I'm going. I can't live my life if I'm constantly worried about whether or not I need to do the same thing as my other friends. I'll get there in my own terms and time.

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