June 102016 marks the loss of a beautiful soul, Christina Grimmie. Starting out singing Hannah Montana covers on YouTube, this New Jersey native made it onto the Voice and was supported by big names in Hollywood, such as her Voice coach Adam Levine. For many, watching Grimmie’s videos on YouTube around 2010 was a pastime after school. 2011 marked the beginning of her career, opening for many artists, gaining Selena Gomez as a mentor, and playing at award shows. As she rose to fame, from what I understand she never lost her spark, her ambition, and never became obsessed with the limelight.

Personally, I hadn’t heard of her until this morning, when I learned and was angered by her tragic passing. She was on the Voice during AP exams my senior year, when I didn’t watch any TV. The more tributes and stories I read this morning, I became regretful and devastated I hadn’t been lucky enough to follow her as she pursued her dreams. I read Issue #7 of “Big City Thoughts,” and was so inspired by their article on Christina. This past March, she had told them such high hopes as to her career, bringing her friends along with her, and connecting with her fans. From stalking her Twitter, I feel at a loss for words because she had the exact persona of a celebrity we needed in today’s messed up world. She was such a genuine, caring, real girl (and a Pisces like me---- even better!). I don’t know much about the industry, but I feel as though she could have had such a future and such a career.

As for the lowlife who decided to rid the world of such an amazing person, is it wrong of me to be glad that he shot himself too? If her brother hadn’t tackled him, who knows who else we would have lost? But at the same time, and maybe this makes me sound sociopathic, but I’m also angry he died right on the scene. I’m mad he got away without paying for what he did. Sure, he got tackled and I’m sure that hurt, and shooting himself too-- but that doesn’t compare to the pain millions of us are facing due to our loss. For most situations mirroring this, I am passionate about not enforcing “an eye for an eye,” but rather a justified punishment. For example, if you drown someone you deserve to be drowned time and time again without dying, just to experience what you forced upon someone else. In Christina’s case, Kevin James Loibl should have some terrible punishment equal to the pain he’s caused. (Hopefully, that makes sense.)

To Team Grimmie (old and new teammates alike): I am so sorry. I am so sorry you lost your role model, idol, favorite success story-- I am truly sorry for your loss. Losing a celebrity is a hard thing to deal with, especially because there is rarely a way to gain closure on the loss. But she’s safe from all harm now, and now she’s singing all the time in heaven.

To the Grimmie family (if this ever reaches you): I am absolutely speechless. As a writer, being speechless doesn’t not happen often, but how do I express my sorrow and sympathy? The only words that come to mind are: I am sorry. I am so incredibly, terribly, truly sorry for your uncalled for loss, and I wish you all the warmest of wishes and love in your time of grief.

RIP Christina Grimmie