‘Gone but never forgotten’ is simply not enough when someone we love passes. The number of loved ones lost seems to be too high and too hard to forget. I've had two young deaths in my family the past two years. Those two years went by in what seemed to be a blink of an eye. Those two years went by with an ocean of emotions.
Death itself is hard to come to terms with. It's especially difficult when it's an unexpected and shocking lost. It's as if a giant fist jabs you right in the chest and knocks you to rock bottom. It's like standing on a platform and then the floor underneath you falls out. Then, you're just lost - free falling through darkness. There's nothing to grab onto and no one to call out to.
The first word out of my mouth when I heard of the tragic loss was, “what?!”. The second word I thought of was, why. The next... how. I began thinking of the families and friends connected to the life that had now ended.
Death doesn't erase anything done or accomplished, but it halts it. The people that saw and interacted with the lost face each day is now permanently lost. They can't laugh with him. They can't talk with her.
It is terrifying life can be so fleeting. Through experience, I know how easy it is to stay in that dark hole and ask the questions that cannot be answered. The world does not stop spinning. School doesn't halt. Bills continue to pile up. However, no one expects you to be superman or woman after a tragic loss. It is so important to take time to process the loss and grieve. It’s important to go through the stages of grief and feel each emotion. I just hope you see a light at the end of your tunnel through that process.
I meant to write this as an open letter to my two young cousins who lost their lives in jaw dropping tragedy. After attempting to write, I realize they are both two separate individuals. I could not possibly validate their lives fully or my memories of them in one single work.
So instead, I write this to let others know they are not alone in their grief. You will find something to grab onto while falling through that darkness.
I've seen the families of lost ones as they’ve grieved. I've also seen them heal. I've seen them mourn and be strong while others cried. I've seen families honor memories and lives. I am proud of those who have had lived through a loss and are now doing great things. We are okay. We miss you, but we are okay. :)
