Your Football Game Is Not Better Than My Project Runway, I'm Worth A Compromise
Start writing a post
Relationships

Your Football Game Is Not Better Than My Project Runway, I'm Worth A Compromise

Relationships need to see the value in one another's interests.

170
Your Football Game Is Not Better Than My Project Runway, I'm Worth A Compromise
Instagram

She sits on the couch, staring blankly at the screen in front of her. Beside her, her boyfriend gasps and drops his head into his hands, groaning in near agony. She glances at him, then back at the screen, where players in colorful jerseys are romping across the field. She doesn't like football. The violence is dumb, and she worries about the players getting hurt.

But every time she mentions this, he'll tell her she just doesn't understand. That she can't see the game for what it was. So he asks her to watch with him every Sunday, even though she always asks questions and tries to not to listen. It's their quality time.


For every crush I had in high school, I tried to adopt their interests, to give us something to talk about, something in common. From watching anime to reading their favorite books, I was willing to explore the things that they loved so that I could love them as well. I even listened to the whole Hamilton soundtrack and learned the words for my current boyfriend, because I wanted him to think I was cultured, that I was someone he could hang out with. But none of them did this for me.

Not once did a boy try and watch Disney movies for me or ask for book suggestions.

You know why? Because I was already doing it. They didn't need to adapt to me when I was so ready to adapt and shape myself for them.

You might be thinking that all of these things are minor, that at least I didn't change my hairstyle or stop wearing makeup. But here's the thing: those are cosmetic. I can always put on or take off makeup. I can change my hair with a pin or a hair tie. But our interests make up our time. They are what we are willing to do continuously, to incorporate into our routines and our lives.

I was willing to make time for these people, to incorporate them into my routines, but apparently what I liked, but apparently, I was not worth their time or their energy.

So I'm telling you to stop. I'm telling you to stop watching football if you don't like it, to throw his book across the room, to stop listening to his music unless you sincerely like it. You do not have to change yourself to get them to like you. You do not have to change yourself so that you guys have something to do together (a fun thing is both adopting a new hobby together). Listen to him when he talks about it, but you better assert yourself and talk about what you like for just as long.

It is time that we as strong, independent women or men or people realize that we do not have to put this much investment into people that are unwilling to do the same for us. Stop changing yourself and carving your time out for them, when you could both carve out time for each other. Don't shape yourself to fit their mold. You are worth more than that.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Dear College Students, Are You Undecided?

The Girlfriend's Guide to College

2347
Dear College Students, Are You Undecided?
https://pixabay.com/photos/college-students-diploma-graduate-3990783/

Up until last week, I always had a major. I was an international business major, finance major, psych major on the pre-medicine track… and now (finally) I am exactly where I should have been when I started college: undecided. I think there is too much pressure as a high school student to have a designated path about what you want to study, be when you 'grow up' and essentially spend the rest of your life doing. As an 18-year-old, I really feel like I tried to pin myself down to a major so that I had a set path to follow and something to look towards. This is probably very conventional and I know tons of people at school who have their minds made up about what they want to study.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Life Is Messy

Finding who you are in your 20s

2489
Life Is Messy
https://www.pexels.com/photo/shallow-focus-photography-of-yellow-sunflower-field-under-sunny-sky-1169084/

I am 25 years old and just now learning who I am. When I separated from my husband I was terrified of what would follow. I did not know who I was outside of a relationship, nor did I know how to be on my own. It was scary, and I was so lost. I spent months discovering who I was, and what I wanted to be. I am still searching as I believe we never truly know who we are even when we "grow up". I came to the realization that I had been hiding a part of myself for my entire life. Coming out was not easy, growing up in the church made it scary, and hard. I was told growing up that being anything but straight was such a sin, and that i would spent my life in hell because of it. I came out to my parents when I was 25 years old. I picked up the phone and called my mom, and uttered the words "I'm queer" through tears. I knew my parents would be supportive, but that didn't make it any easier for me to vulnerable and raw. Since then, I have slowly started being more authentic in who I am, and not hide parts of me just because of people's shitty opinions.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Ask Your BFF These 20 Questions To See If They Know You As Well As You THINK That They Do

Ask your best friend these basic questions to see just how well they know you.

41170
Ask Your BFF These 20 Questions To See If They Know You As Well As You THINK That They Do

My best friend has been in my life since we were 3 years old, now that we are adults now, I'd like to ask her these questions to see how well she knows me.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Alone At The Met

I survive a day alone in NYC.

10929
Wikimedia Commons

It was six in the evening. I was sitting in the courtyard of a Renaissance-era Italian villa, glancing around at the statues, most notably one of a boy removing a thorn from his foot. Despite the supposedly relaxing setting, I was incredibly anxious. My phone was at less than 5 percent battery, and once it died I would be completely disconnected from my family and peers, alone in one of the largest art museums in the country.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

College 101: How To Ease The Back To School Blues

Getting back into the school groove when you just can't seem to let go of summer.

11868
Beyond The States

With fall classes just beginning, many of us find ourselves struck with summer withdrawals. Especially for those who refrained from taking courses over the summer, it can be quite difficult to get back in the swing of things. Fortunately, there are various ways to help make the transition back to college as smooth as possible.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments