I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Not everyone has your best intentions at heart. (Surprising, I know). I have learned this the hard way. No matter how golden your intentions may be for others, you cannot expect the same. Unfortunately, that is how the world works.
We live in a selfish and impatient society. We want things now, without having to put in the hard work and dedication in. We are constantly asking "What can you do for me?" as opposed to "What can I do for you?"
I've been burned by some of the relationships I've been in. Many times, I've done the burning myself. But one thing my last relationship taught me, was to no longer be a fool for love.
Let me know if this sounds familiar to you;
"I poured my heart out for someone who gave nothing in return."
Have you ever been with someone that no matter how much effort you put in to show the person you care, they never seem to put in a quarter of that effort into you?
No matter how many long and thought out text messages you sent, or letters you wrote, or emotion you poured in...you were never truly fulfilled. The person that you just poured everything out for just responded with "Aw, that's so sweet! Thanks." Kind of felt like a slap in the face, didn't it?
Stop settling for this mediocrity.
There are a lot of things that are mediocre in life, like movies, food and music. But love should not be one of them. Stop going for the person that half-asses everything they do, including their relationship with you. If they aren't passionate for life, they aren't going to be passionate for the relationship.
And don't give them the benefit of the doubt.
People will fool you into thinking they are something they're not, in order to win you over. People lie, cheat and manipulate in order to get what they're after. It's an unfortunate reality. And chances are, if you're a genuine and loving person, you're going to fall for it.
Start seeing things at face value.
So many people I know fall for "potential." I am guilty of it myself. But at the end of the day, you're forced to face the reality. The person in front of you isn't his/her potential. They are who they are. And when they aren't equaling your effort, potential won't be enough to satisfy you.
You are not a doormat.
It's OK to be nice and generous and loving. But you have to set a limit for yourself, especially when it's damaging to you. See, you must believe someone when they show you their true colors the first time. If your S.O. lies to you over something miniscule...imagine what they would lie to you about years down the road. That doesn't paint a pretty picture, now does it?
You deserve someone's best.
Especially when you know you're giving that someone YOUR best. See, many times I have been told, "you're expecting too much from me." But truly, that's not the case; if you REALLY wanted someone, you would rise up to expectations, no matter what. In that moment, I realized I should never stick by someone who makes me question my worth. In that moment, I knew I deserved a hell of a lot better than that. So trust me when I say, high expectations aren't bad. Those are caused by this little thing called self-worth. And those that claim it's unrealistic, are unworthy.
Stop being a fool for love.
Love is great. But don't fall in love with the idea of love. This makes you vulnerable and easily won over. Don't be that person. Set the bar high, because when the right person comes around, they are going to go above and beyond what you were oh so patient for.
Know your worth, and when you know you deserve better, walk away with your head held high. ♔
